big brother

This is so completely frightening:

U.S. gov't terror ratings draw outrage
By MICHAEL J. SNIFFEN, Associated Press Writer Sat Dec 2, 6:16 AM ET

WASHINGTON - A leader of the new Democratic Congress, business travelers and privacy advocates expressed outrage Friday over the unannounced assignment of terrorism risk assessments to American international travelers by a computerized system managed from an unmarked, two-story brick building in Northern Virginia.

Incoming Senate Judiciary Chairman Sen. Patrick Leahy of Vermont pledged greater scrutiny of such government database-mining projects after reading that during the past four years millions of Americans have been evaluated without their knowledge to assess the risks that they are terrorists or criminals.

"Data banks like this are overdue for oversight," said Leahy, who will take over Judiciary in January. "That is going to change in the new Congress."

The Associated Press reported Thursday that Americans and foreigners crossing U.S. borders since 2002 have been assessed by the Homeland Security Department's computerized Automated Targeting System, or ATS.

The travelers are not allowed to see or directly challenge these risk assessments, which the government intends to keep on file for 40 years. Some or all data in the system can be shared with state, local and foreign governments for use in hiring, contracting and licensing decisions. Courts and even some private contractors can obtain some of the data under certain circumstances.

"It is simply incredible that the Bush administration is willing to share this sensitive information with foreign governments and even private employers, while refusing to allow U.S. citizens to see or challenge their own terror scores," Leahy said. This system "highlights the danger of government use of technology to conduct widespread surveillance of our daily lives without proper safeguards for privacy."

The concerns spread beyond Congress.

"I have never seen anything as egregious as this," said Kevin Mitchell, president of the Business Travel Coalition, which advocates for business travelers. It's "evidence of what can happen when there isn't proper oversight and accountability."

By late Friday, the government had received 22 written public comments about its after-the-fact disclosure of the program last month in the Federal Register, a fine-print compendium of federal rules. All either opposed it outright or objected to the lack of a direct means for people to correct any errors in the database about themselves.

"As a U.S. citizen who spends much time outside the U.S., I can understand the need for good security," wrote one who identified himself as Colin Edmunds. "However, just as I would not participate in a banking/credit card system where I have no recourse to correct or even view my personal data, I cannot accept the same of my government."

Privacy advocates also were alarmed.

"Never before in American history has our government gotten into the business of creating mass `risk assessment' ratings of its own citizens," said Barry Steinhardt, a lawyer for the
American Civil Liberties Union. "We are stunned" the program has been undertaken "with virtually no opportunity for the public to evaluate or comment on it."

The Homeland Security Department says the nation's ability to spot criminals and other security threats "would be critically impaired without access to this data."

And on Friday as the normal daily flow of a million or more people entered the United States by air, sea and land, the ATS program's computers continued their silent scrutiny. At that Virginia building with no sign, the managers of the National Targeting Center allowed an Associated Press photographer to briefly roam their work space.

But he couldn't reveal the building's exact location. None of the dozens of workers under the bright fluorescent lights could be named. Some could not be photographed.
The only clue he might have entered a government building was a montage of photos in the reception area of President Bush's visit to the center. But there was only one guard and a sign-in book.

Inside, red digital clocks on the walls showed the time in Istanbul, Baghdad, Islamabad, Bangkok, Singapore, Tokyo, and Sydney. Although billboard-size video screens on the walls showed multiple cable news shows, there was little noise in the basketball-court-sized main workroom. Each desk had dual computer screens and earphones to hear the video soundtrack. Conferences were held in smaller workrooms divided by glass walls from the windowless main room.

Round the clock, the targeters from Homeland Security's Customs and Border Protection agency analyze information from multiple sources, not just ATS. They compare names to terrorist watch lists and mine the Treasury Enforcement Communications System and other automated systems that bring data about cargo, travelers and commercial workers entering or leaving the 317 U.S. ports, searching for suspicious people and cargo.

Almost every person entering and leaving the United States by air, sea or land is assessed based on ATS' analysis of their travel records and other data, including items such as where they are from, how they paid for tickets, their motor vehicle records, past one-way travel, seating preference and what kind of meal they ordered.

Government officials could not say whether ATS has apprehended any terrorists. Based on all the information available to them, federal agents turn back about 45 foreign criminals a day at U.S. borders, according to Homeland Security's Customs and Border Protection spokesman Bill Anthony. He could not say how many were spotted by ATS.

Officials described how the system works: applying rules learned from experience with the activities and characteristics of terrorists and criminals to the traveler data. But they would not describe in detail the format in which border agents see the results or in which the databases store the results of the ATS risk assessments.

Acting Assistant Homeland Security Secretary Paul Rosenzweig told reporters Friday they could call it scoring. "It can be reduced to a number," he said, but he clearly preferred the longer description about how the rules are used.

busy week

Thom and I flew to Chicago this weekend on a whim and visited our good friends Ryan and Melissa. We attended their wedding just a few short months ago, and it looks they're settling into married life just fine.

Thom had a few meetings out there Monday morning, and since I'm not working on a show or film, it was easy enough for me to get away. It's been a long time since we've been able to be that spontaneous and I'm really glad we took the trip.

I love seeing Melissa in person. We can both get lazy about keeping up with news by phone, but even more than that, there's something about talking face to face with her that makes the conversations we have more substantial. I always walk away from those talks feeling a bit of catharsis.

After we returned home I got busy getting ready for hosting a houseful of people. After a day-long shopping adventure, a major kitchen overhaul, and a floor to ceiling clean, I finally feel ready for Thanksgiving. It seems like I've worked on a million projects these past two weeks--all of which have the added bonus of making the house baby-ready.

Thanksgiving is going to be fantastic this year with both sets of parents, my brother and niece, and my grandparents all in attendance. Kevin and Crystal will share hosting and cooking duties which should take some of the pressure off.

I'll pick up my mom tomorrow morning and the rest of the family will trickle in over the next few days.

I hope all of you out there are able to celebrate a wonderful day with family or friends!

mutation

I know it's scientifically impossible, but I think some kind of genetic transformation takes place at the very core of your cells when you get pregnant. Like all of my old "Summer" DNA has morphed into an entirely different strand of "Mother" DNA. How else to explain the near irresistible urge I have to constantly decorate, clean, and CRAFT?

exhibit A:




















I made this mobile to put over the crib yesterday, deciding to forgo, you know, buying one, because it would be "too impersonal."

Okay, yes, I have way too much time on my hands these days, but at least I can feel good that I'm using this time off from work in more creative endeavors than eating bon bons and watching Montel. I may be insane, but at least I'm productive.

My new favorite place to visit is a website called NotMartha, a great how-to site dedicated to crafting, cooking, and bringing adorableness to the world. I'm getting a lot of great inspiration there and looking forward to bringing my own 3-D cookies, tiny pinatas, and spider cakes to life.

exhibit B:

If you're still skeptical about my genetic transformation, consider this: I am utterly consumed by the idea of filling my house with Holiday Decorations. This week at Kohl's I bought Halloween candy dishes and mugs on sale in anticipation of putting them out next year. Every fiber of my body wants to go out and purchase full dinnerware sets in Thanksgiving and Christmas patterns. Images of themed table runners, cloth napkins, and salt & pepper shakers dance through my head, calling to me with all of their kitschy charm.

Why?! Why, I ask you?! I used to be sensible; I used to be able to appreciate Christmas without vomiting green and red all over my house. I'm not even annoyed by the fact that we haven't come to Thanksgiving yet and the stores are full of chestnuts and cheer. In fact, I love it--I'm excited about getting a jump on my shopping!

As much as I liked the old Summer, I think the new one is here to stay. There's something about starting a family that has put an entirely new emphasis on hearth, home, ritual, and celebration.

My mother-in-law, Julie, has complete sets of decorations for every holiday (and I wouldn't exclude Flag Day or the Chinese New Year from that list). Front lawn to back, floor to ceiling, decorations fill their house nearly year round. She likes to send Thom and I themed hand-towels or little wall hangings at Valentine's Day or Halloween. I used to think she was well-intentioned but a little insane about it all (sorry mom). I never understood why someone would take the time and energy to transform their home that many times a year.

Well everything comes full-circle, doesn't it? I TOTALLY get it now. I don't just get it, I am in the thick of it. I'm sure this is just one incident of many that will have the mothers of the world smirking to themselves, thinking, "Now she knows what I went through."

So be it.

I'm okay with evolution.

p.s.

A big Happy Birthday shout out to my dad today! I love you, Pops!

post halloween recap

Perhaps he was tired after waking up for a 5:30am flight, or maybe his heart just wasn't in it, but I guess Thom decided White-Trash-Lounge-Singer-Priest was as good a Halloween costume as any. I, on the other hand was pretty psyched about my Biker Dude costume (even if it kind of freaked out my husband to kiss me).














Upon closer examination, however, this is more than just a Biker costume. Check this out:


















It's like someone smooshed my parents together and dressed them as one of the Village People.

Crystal and Kevin were very cute as Hansel and Gretel in their lederhosen.














Hansel even let me put the moves on his girl:



















We spent the evening watching whatever scary movies we could find on cable--Freddy vs. Jason and Jeepers Creepers--and handing out candy to the half a dozen kids that actually came to our door. Once we were good and warmed up on the blood and gore, we headed over to Brattle Square for Evil Dead II.

Along the way, Crystal gave out her spare candy to people walking on the streets in a little reverse Halloween experiment (results: men are much more likely to take candy from strangers than women--suggesting one more reason our lifespan is longer than theirs). Of course, I didn't want to ruin little Sesame Seed's first Halloween by giving away all his chocolate, so we left a stash at home.













After the final credits rolled on the movie, I was a jumble of nerves with my guts rolled into a rock hard ball. Thom insists that it's good for the Sesame Seed to experience a wide variety of emotions through me, and he certainly got a good dose of "scared" that night. Of course it's nothing a little candy can't make better...

Happy Halloween!

I'm planning on finding some last minute costume, passing out candy to the kiddies, and going to a late viewing of Evil Dead II. Should be a fun night. Over the weekend Crystal, Kevin, Thom and I carved pumpkins. Here's my "Head" Cheerleader and Thom's Scary Clown:

IT'S A BOY!

To any untrained eye but the mother's this will probably look like the contents of a lava lamp, but if you look closely you'll see the handsome profile of our son. Isn't he the most adorable thing in the world?













Raising a son is going to pose some challenges I did not anticipate with a girl. For instance, how to help him become a self-confident, intelligent, sensitive man without turning him into a "sissy mamma's boy" (as my husband so delicately puts it)? How to quell my urge to dress anything that cute in frilly pink ruffles? And what to do when he inevitably comes home wanting to buy sports paraphernalia?

Questions for the ages, my friends.

kiddie room

Sometimes I get on these obsessive little jags--usually when there's a project or something creative to be done around the house--and I just can't let go of it until it's finished. This is why if you had been looking for me anytime over the past week, the most likely place to find me would be the hardware store or the new nursery. Yes, I've begun decorating and I am in project heaven.

Thom and I took a trip to Ikea last weekend to find all the "versatile solutions to modern living" our baby might require, and while "giant leaf canopy" and "awesome mosquito netting curtains" weren't specifically on our list, they have found a fantastic home in the baby's room.

I'm still very much in the process of decorating--as we have no major furniture yet--but the painting is done and the room is starting to feel playful and welcoming.

I started by taping off the original lavender wall at the center to create an orange border, then once that was done, I painted the bottom aqua and the ceiling light lavender. Here's our basic color scheme:



















My favorite part of the room right now are these enormous leaf canopies hanging over where the crib will be.



















Since we've decided on a "happy bug" theme, I'll be incorporating ladybugs, butterflies, bees and the like into the room. I'm going to sew some fabric bugs onto the mosquito net curtains and get some felt petals to make the (hand-painted) curtain rod look like a flower.













This twirly do-dad is cool because Thom bought it for me years ago (it was one of his first presents to me, as I recall) and it happens to match the colors perfectly.



















I'm going to tackle the armoire today--painting over the current wood finish with orange, lavender, aqua and green.

I'm having so much fun creating this welcoming space for our baby--making sure it's happy and playful. And though he's not able to do much of the work, I know Thom is also relishing this chance to explore life from the view of a child.

Magic Completed: Crystal and Summer are sisters

I think I've recovered enough to talk about Kevin and Crystal's wedding now. The whole weekend felt like one non-stop party.

Thursday night the ladies and gents went out for their hen and stag parties. At the start of the evening Crystal was surprised to learn she would be wearing a pink spandex outfit and bunny ears. Of course there was The List to complete: 40 tasks of bravery and embarrassment. Crystal had been in charge of planning at least four previous bridal showers, complete with embarrassing costumes and wicked challenges, so you could say a few of us were looking forward to revenge. But of course, she outmaneuvered us all and completed a surprising number of tasks (including: shaving a C into a man's chest hair, doing an Irish jig on stage with a live band, and starting a conga line) having a blast in the process.

I was designated driver for the evening (being the only pregnant lady around), and I carted around 20 women in a massive van until 4:30am. I don't know how I managed to hang in so long, but it felt great to party into the wee hours.

Friday afternoon brought the rehearsal followed by the Rehearsal/Out of Towner Dinner. The Doyle's hosted 100 people with a beautiful backyard BBQ. My dad and Thom tended bar and I do believe they had their hands full with the German and Irish crowd all night.

I, on the other hand, realized that I didn't have a copy of the poem I was to read in the wedding, and since it had been compiled by Kevin and Crystal from a 230 line Walt Whitman poem, there was no way I was recreating it on my own. Kevin and Crystal were very gracious about sitting down and working through it again, even finding some new stanzas to include, so it worked out in the end. (It's wonderful to be related to people who are also absentminded, resourceful, and not easily ruffled.)

Finally the day of the wedding arrived and I spent the morning getting ready with Crystal and her bridesmaids in her suite. I indulged myself with professional make-up and hair, and came out looking not too shabby (but I should have warned Crystal about the stray boob--those puppies hate to stay put). Crystal was relaxed and beautiful and seemed to enjoy the morning with her ladies.



















Around 1pm I went to the wedding site with friend and wedding planner Ashley to help decorate and organize the reception hall before the festivities. Everyone had done such a beautiful job of picking out flowers and settings, the space looked gorgeous.

Finally, the big moment arrived and the ceremony went off without a hitch (I even remembered to bring my poem).















I loved Kevin and Crystal' vows, which they wrote together (in rhyming couplets no less!). I was not surprised to see that Crystal cleans up quite well as a girl; they look good married, don't they?



















Here's their massive wedding party including bridesmaids and groomsmen, ushers, flower girls, and ring bearer.













The reception got off to a great start and after a bit of maneuvering Thom and I had seats at two tables (you know, because that's how we roll). Dinner started and when it came time for the speeches, Thom and I retreated to complete our master plan.

Thom and Kevin have a tradition of doing some sort of prank at the wedding receptions of their close friends. Usually it involves a sketch and/or singing. The male victims of these pranks have felt the need to get revenge, so every year the ante is upped a bit (at our wedding Kevin juggled chickens during his speech and Mike and Bill handcuffed Thom and tossed the key into a fountain).

With their wedding, Kevin and Crystal were closing the circle, so we wanted to go out with a bang. Thom and I prepared ourselves in the back, and when the time came, we emerged with the Bielefeld Express Extravaganza Variety Show starring "Kevin" and "Crystal."













The show featured a number of acts--The Flying Zucchini Brothers' Bunny Slippers, Handcuffs, and Chicken Act, a sketch: The Courtship of Kevin and Crystal: How it Could Have all Gone Horribly Horribly Wrong, and a love-song serenade with audience participation.

Thom and I were beyond pleased with the outcome (Kevin and Crystal even got out of the handcuffs eventually).

Music started soon after that, and the rest of the evening is just a blur. As you can see, there were a lot of White Guy Moves happening here:














It was really a fantastic evening. Kevin and Crystal are so lucky to be surrounded by people who love them and encourage all of their kookiness. And Thom and I are so lucky to have them so close. I can't wait to see how married life settles on them; I'm sure it's going to be beautiful.

Here's the last shot of the night; a strange one that I like for its strangeness. This was taken as Thom walked away from a dance with the bride, at a moment that was somehow captured in purple:

geekiness squared

From Weird Al's latest album, this gem: White and Nerdy. I know way too many people (including myself) who will identify with this song.

* Note: I've replaced the broken link above, but if you have problems with it, go to YouTube and look up "White and Nerdy."

well it would have been wonderful...

... if the two intense days of shooting hadn't gotten me sick. I'm struggling with a sore throat right now, hoping it doesn't get any worse.

I've got a couple days to recuperate before flying to Vegas for Kevin and Crystal's wedding. I know I'm going to need all the energy I can muster to fully enjoy the weekend's festivities, so I'm crossing my fingers.

Anyhow the shoot went very well, and I'm happy to have my house (and the Sesame Seed) featured on film for posterity.

home movies

I have a film crew in my house this weekend to shoot the last few scenes for My Mother's Boyfriend. Of course that's meant a top to bottom scouring of the house--as good an excuse as any to get the place clean, I suppose.

The funny thing is, I think my motivation to offer our place was out of pure laziness. See, I can work on the film, but still have the whole weekend at home. Sick, isn't it? It will be easier than carting around a suitcase full of costumes and making sure to remember everything I need for hair/make-up changes. I get to use my own bathroom, change in my own bedroom, and rummage through my own fridge.... Then at the end of the day, I just kick everyone out and snuggle on the sofa with my husband. Sounds wonderful to me.

back in the swing

I've spent the last week and a half on a little personal vacation at home. It's gone something like this: wake up, stay in bed and read a sci-fi novel while the cats snuggle with me, get up for some breakfast, ignore email, phone messages, and social obligations, maybe do the dishes or empty the garbage, surf the internet, fix lunch, take a nap, maybe take a shower or a walk, cook some dinner, welcome my handsome, hard-working husband home, watch a little tv, read myself to sleep. After a first trimester filled with filming, Hamlet, house guests, traveling, more filming, doctor appointments, more traveling, not to mention intense changes in diet, overwhelming fatigue, frequent nausea, and sore boobs, it was heavenly to have a break and do absolutely nothing.

It was something I desperately needed, but I'm starting to get restless and feel the need to be productive tugging at me again. I'd like to shift my focus to getting the house ready for the baby--there are a million projects I plan to get done: decorate the nursery, organize every single closet, unpack boxes, rearrange bookshelves, organize the kitchen cabinets, and perform an industrial cleaning on the house. I'm gearing up for "nesting mode." For the first time since I became pregnant, my energy level is high enough that I can actually conceive of accomplishing these things.

So far all the hype is true: the second trimester rocks! I can see a little bulge in my belly now; not massive, but I'm definitely rounder than before. I love the little bump, and I'm constantly touching and having conversations with it. The Sesame Seed (who is actually about the size of a lemon now) and I have become great pals, discussing everything from the funny gurgle noises my belly makes to why mommy uses such strong language when she's driving. We sing to the belly at night--The Beatles and Death Cab for Cutie are favorites--and I imagine my little person floating and squirming around happily.

I bought some new clothes to accommodate my changing body, and while they flatter my small bump, I've since realized that they really highlight how ginormous my boobs have gotten. It's like two alien lumps have taken up residence on my chest, and I can't help but stare at them. From all I've read, they're only going to get bigger from here on out, and the thought terrifies me. What am I going to do with two monstrous torpedoes on my chest? I suppose my husband would have a clever answer for that...

A little detour: When I was first engaged, I was just starting an internship at a theatre in New York and in my introduction to everyone there I made it clear that I was super excited about getting married, but I didn't want to be that girl who only talked about her upcoming nuptials. Until recently I've approached pregnancy in the same way--not wanting my posts to be consumed with baby talk, not wanting to lose my self-image as a whole, complex person, not just a baby-making machine. But as much as I might fight it, this baby is on my mind all the time, so instead of posting about other things going on, I just haven't been posting at all. I've come to realize that my life revolves around the Sesame Seed right now, so if I'm being honest, my posts are going to reflect that.

I hope acknowledging that fact will make it easier for me to post more frequently again (having a bit more energy will help too).

notes from Summer

A little update from the lazy blogger:

--Thom and I had our first appointment with my OBGYN last week, and she rocks. I'm so relieved to have someone I like to see me through the next seven months.

--Week 9 of the pregnancy and my nausea is long gone. I'm thrilled that I only have fatigue and headaches to contend with now.

--For those of you who don't know, Hamlet was fantastic. I feel very proud of what we did, and, in spite of my worries, all the parents seemed to enjoy it.

--I'm working on two short films and a play reading. Those are the last projects on the horizon, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do once I wrap them up. I have a couple months before I start showing, but the constant fatigue hasn't really been great for my productivity level.

--Thom and I took a test drive in the Toyota Highlander Highbrid. As much as I love our Mini, I don't think it's the most practical car for us now. The Highlander is the perfect hippie/yuppie highbrid as well, so it seems like a good match.

--I'm flying to Vegas tomorrow night. My mom and I will drive to Cedar City for the Utah Shakespearean Festival, where I'm sure we'll see a bunch of great theatre. It's been years since I've been there, so I'm excited for that and the mother-daughter road trip.

--Once we drive back to Vegas, I'll be attending Crystal's bridal shower. I will be thoroughly disappointed if there isn't a nacho cheese fountain. You hear that, Crystal? I want flowing cheese!

--Snakes on a Plane was all I expected and more: gratuitous sex and violence, cheesy dialogue, scary snakes... what more could you ask for in a movie? Samuel L. Jackson may not have been challenged by the role, but he sure looks like he's having fun.

--Oh yeah, did I mention I have to get on a plane tomorrow? What was I thinking?

my hero

Part of me feels guilty for not posting for two weeks, but another--saner--part of me that was hosting family while dealing with morning sickness and fatigue doesn't really care.

The family has all flown safely home (I hope...it sounded like a rough flight for the Doyles last night), and while I still have occasional bouts of nausea and require lots of naps, it's getting more manageable.

Thom has reacted to my queasy tummy by becoming the Official Provider. I've found my stomach stays settled if I have a little healthy, high-protein snack every couple hours. So, whenever we're away from home, in a situation where I can't easily control my dietary choices, Thom turns into the Twenty-First Century Hunter/Gatherer and forages for me.

Last weekend we went on a Whale Watch. I'm not sure what made me think I could handle a three hour boat ride--pregnancy hormones, a desire to please my family, general lunacy. I'm the girl who has never ridden a boat without feeling sick, and I thought it would be super-fun to ride out to the middle of the ocean to look at whales.

I decided to ignore the boat-induced queasiness, but thankfully Thom did not ignore my pregancy-induced queasiness. Before we boarded the giant catamaran he investigated what food they might have to offer. Turns out "hot dogs and maybe sandwiches" wasn't a satisfactory answer when thinking of his pregnant, vegetarian wife. So he found little booth nearby that made a veggie-hummus wrap, fulfilling his need to provide for me. It was very sweet, and I think that food got me through the first hour of the trip. The second hour was a very different story, and I've decided that if the Sesame Seed ever wants to take a boat trip, they'll have to do it with their daddy cause I'm done.

A couple nights ago we made trip up to Gloucester to visit some friends and their parents for dinner. Once again Thom did some investigating and found out that salmon and pork would be the centerpieces of the menu. Even though I could have been perfectly happy with side dishes (what I usually eat when dining with friends) Thom insisted we get some vegetarian protein to supplement the meal. So we brought some tofu along. Was that terribly rude? I don't care--it feels so wonderful to have my husband looking after me I'd risk making all kinds of social faux pas to keep him happy.

I knew pregnancy would change things, but I had no idea how much I'd enjoy being shown this kind of masculine, protective attention. It almost makes me feel delicate.

Almost.