where is my mind?

I'm going through a little emotional slump at the moment, which is probably the reason my posts have been so sporadic lately. But I just realized that I don't have to put on a happy face all the time, and this can be a great forum for working through what's on my mind...

I did the Stagesource audition* yesterday and I think it went fine, but my heart just wasn't in it. I realized at the last moment that I didn't have the 60 headshots they'd asked for (which in a way is pretty great considering I ordered 100 last August and I'd already used 55). So I took my sad little 45 headshots and handed them over, knowing some people in attendance wouldn't have one of me. It's not a big deal--there might not have even been 45 people there, but it's not something I would normally let happen.

Normally, I would have checked a month ago to make sure I had enough headshots so I'd have time to order some extra copies if needed. And I don't know if it's apathy or the fact that I've been so freaking busy lately that I can hardly think straight.

I'm looking back at my calendar and I think it's been three weeks since I've had a day off. And I'm usually not filming or rehearsing for more than 6 hours a day, but to not have a single, whole day that is mine and mine alone has really worn me down.

Part of me feels really horrible for complaining about this. I mean, I am in the extraordinarily unique position of not having a day job. I can't imagine what it must be like for people who are struggling with their artistic careers while holding down a full-time job. I am thankful every day for the life I live.

Yet--I can't negate what I'm feeling just because I'm better off than some people. (Everyone is better off than someone else in this world.)

I'm tired. And I'm sad. And no amount of "thanking my lucky stars" is going to make that go away.

I guess the positive side to all of this is that I'm very close to a break (4 whole days over the Fourth of July weekend!). Two of my film projects have winded down and all I have to focus on from now until August is the play.

Knowing me, just writing all of this down will probably do wonders for my mood. So thanks for letting me vent.

*Stagesource is a New England theatre arts association. They have annual auditions where local producers and directors can see hundreds of actors perform two minute pieces over a few days.

zzzzzzzzzzz

I am so ridiculously tired right now.

And hot.

It's like 10,000 degrees here and every moment outside just syphons the energy from me. Not that I'm complaining. I would much prefer broiling to freezing.

I've been working on The Hub for the past two days and tomorrow is my last day of filming. I've been having an absolutely fantastic time--the director, crew, and actors have all be wonderful to work with. But this schedule is starting to wear me down.

I was up at 5am this morning, which felt particularly painful since I'm not usually in bed until midnight because of Hal rehearsals. So we filmed the scene and were done by 8:30am, which was fantastic, but I came home and felt completely at a loss.

My morning schedule had been scrambled, and my brain felt the same. Thom and I went to brunch and decided to see the new Romero zombie movie, Land of the Dead. I was so scared through the entire movie, my body was tensed into a tiny little ball the whole time. I saw 80% of it through my fingers, and the rest I only heard.

Needless to say, it was not the best way to relax.

(Tangent: why do continuing going to every scary movie that comes out when half the time I'm so afraid I can't even look at the screen? It's not a pleasant sensation, to be tense and afraid, to jump at every noise, and to feel like your tired muscles have had a workout as you leave the theatre. The person who can explain that to me will earn a dinner out, my treat.)

Later I had Hal rehearsals, which were intense in a different way. We're in that stage of the relationship (the cast and director, I mean) where we've stopped being polite and started getting real (to quote the original Gen X reality show). You know, people feel comfortable enough to test boundaries so conflicts naturally occur--tonight we proved that theory in abundance.

Again, not the most relaxing situation.

Now here I am, updating this blog way too late in the evening because even though I'm running on too little sleep, I'm still wired from rehearsal.

This is dumb. I'm going to bed.

I hope all of you have sweet dreams tonight.

And don't get eaten by zombies.

s is for schedule

I have a busy week ahead of me...

Yesterday, I spent the evening with the Six Fifty-Seven cast rehearsing the pilot--on the commuter rail. It was a fun exercise in guerilla theatre and inspired a new character to be worked into later episodes: Grumpy Conductor Man.

I have Hal Harry Henry rehearsals for the rest of the week at the Gateways Farm barn (hee hee, farmbarn) in Weston. We have a terrific, open-aired space set in a beautiful, natural surrounding, but again, bugs are an issue. And with no heater or air conditioning the schizophrenic weather hasn't been very pleasant either...

Finally, on Saturday and Sunday I will be filming The Hub in locations all over Boston. I'm very excited about the project, but I do need to start solidifying my lines.

That's the week in Summer, in case you were interested.

a world away

I spent the weekend on Maine's Frye Island at a working retreat with the cast and crew of Hal Harry Henry. This picture was taken from the deck of our host's house Sunday morning, and I love the way the sun reflects off the water. It almost looks like it could be the moon shining down.

I've been doing a lot of communing with nature lately, and what I've found out is that I'm very attractive to mosquitoes. In fact, I am a veritable buffet to our small blood-sucking friends.

Aside from the unsavory souvenir of mosquito bites, I came away from this weekend with nothing but good feelings. The cast bonded over meals, games, drinks, and work. I found out some surprising and beautiful things about the people I'm working with, and I have no doubt in my mind that this is going to be a challenging and rewarding experience.

you can't handle the truth!

I have now officially done my civic duty. Unlike millions of Americans who every year beg, cheat, and lie their way out of it, I attended jury duty yesterday. Also unlike millions of Americans, I was actually excited about it.

That was, of course, before I found out what "jury duty" really is. It's not Law & Order or The Practice. It's not The Rainmaker or A Civil Action. And it most certainly is not Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise.

"Jury duty" is waiting in a stuffy, windowless room for three and a half hours, not moving, not speaking, until the judge comes in and tells you they're waiting for a witness to come in and therefore will not need you today. Thank you for time.

At least I was out by 11:30am. I had the whole rest of the day to think of ways in which I might beg, cheat, or lie my way out of it the next time around.

a picture's worth

I'm back from my week in the Tetons and I had an absolutely amazing time. I'm still processing all that the week held, so for now I'll give you a photo essay of my trip. There are a lot of pictures--to see them all click on the June archives.

Peace,
Summer

The Grand Tetons...what a horrible place to spend a week, huh?

the view from our cabin

watch out for the buffalo walking down the highway...

a female grouse (these suckers are the size of chickens, just wandering around in the woods)

Horny male grouse showing off for the female. He chased his lady friend for quite a while--then they discreetly wandered off into the woods.

night in the Grand Tetons

mom, me, and our pet moose

Cool terraces at Mammoth Hot Springs in Yellowstone

Did I mention how bad hot springs smell?

cutest niece ever!

husband and giant trunk

waterfall, dude

my attempt at an artsy photo of horses

My brother and I on top of a ski mountain (just above a 100 ft drop)

Freezing our bottoms off...

So long and thanks for all the fish!

a visit with The Man

So Thom and I are going to see The Insurance Man today to get our house covered for fire/theft. My in-laws' recent brush with having all of their possessions stolen (see my recent post) have made us a bit paranoid and forced us into this very "adult" measure. I keep thinking I've gotten about as "adult" as I can handle, but the world finds new and horrible ways to build the pressure.

For instance, our car windshield was recently chipped by a rock and has now developed a small crack. Instead of letting it go for almost a year (like the little fender dent we got last February) I've actually called my insurance company to file a claim, figured out a glass repair company to go to, and made an appointment with them. What is the world coming to when a procrastinator like myself feels the tug of such stuffy responsibilities and actually does something about it?!

On the other hand, one sign that I haven't completely turned to the dark side is that we're leaving for a week-long trip tomorrow morning and I've only just now pinned down a cat sitter for out pets. I think there's still hope for me yet.

The Blog is dead. Long live The Blog!

Welcome to the Grand (Re)Opening of The Wyrd Sisters!

I've been keeping a blog on another site for a few months now (a mostly private affair, since I didn't tell anyone about it), but I think it's time to unveil my gooey, silly brainstuff to the world.

Certain limitations with FriendsterBlogs have led me to set up shop here, and I'm celebrating with a formal announcement to friends and family. Hello, friends and family!

If you'd like to see what I've been up to check out the archives. And, of course, I hope you'll be a frequent visitor here.

Thanks for coming to the Grand (Re)Opening, folks! Maybe next time I'll have a toaster for you.