a new addition

I can no longer zip my pants, morning vitamins have me running for the bathroom, and my #1 activity after eating is sleeping. I guess I can't keep it from you any longer: I'm pregnant!

I'm almost 11 weeks along which means the horrible morning (noon and night) sickness should be coming to a close before too long, and I hope my energy levels will rise above zombie soon as well. I shared the happy news with my family quite a while ago, but I've felt the need to keep this pregnancy private from, you know, the whole world for a little while. More than anything, I really just liked the idea of having a little secret.

And it's been wonderful. I have less time to ponder the new little one than I did in my first pregnancy, but I still find ways to ogle itty bitty clothes and fondly imagine how squishy and alien-looking this one will be when born. I talk to my little sweet pea, explaining how awesome our family is, and River has a growing sense that he will be a big brother in the days to come.

And you know that sign I was looking for? Well I was already pregnant when I asked, so I guess I got my answer. I'm glad that it was a bit of an unexpected surprise - I imagine I could have dragged my feet getting pregnant until River had kids of his own, and then I'd be the grandma with an infant and that would just be weird. And of course, the doubts are still there. I occasionally break out in cold sweats wondering what have we done?! But more often than not I am filled with a sense of purpose, of wonder, of overwhelming joy. Yes, even when I'm praying to the porcelain gods, I am pretty excited I have the chance to do this amazing thing all over again.

So that should explain a bit of why I have been somewhat absent from here lately. I'd pretty much rather sleep than do anything these days. But I expect finally having this news out in the open will inspire a whole slew of posts on the weighty days (har har) of pregnancy.