Sunday, September 16, 2007

no money back guarantee

River, River, River...

We're getting desperate for sleep. You know how you do that thing where you wake up every 1-2 hours at night and only take a few short naps during the day? Well, I'm starting to think you're broken. Only we didn't get an extended warranty on you and I have no idea where the receipt is. The baby store has a very strict return policy, so that's it--you're stuck with us.

I like to think your father and I know you very well--an understanding built on intuition, experimentation, and many, many hours of observation. Based on that, we've pulled out every trick up our sleeves to try to help you sleep longer. However, all of our ideas have been exhausted with no better results.

Now it's time to go to our natural fallback: books.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution is our current advice tome, a book that seems to fit with the philosophy that we all deserve a good night sleep, and that getting it shouldn't involve "training" you with the cry-it-out method.

According to the book, you should be sleeping 10-11 hours a night and 3-4 hours during the day. With that in mind, our first assignment was to log your sleeping habits for one night. It was an average night as far as I could tell (though, don't quote me on that--I'm VERY VERY sleepy), and you slept for a total of 7 hours, waking 7 times, with your longest sleep stretch clocked in at 1.5 hours.

This is clearly not enough sleep.

We've read the first half of the book, pondered all the ideas, and have now come up with a sleep plan. After ten days we should see some improvement. After a month, you will hopefully be sleeping through the night.

And if not... well, I guess there's always the pawn shop.

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