It's about two-ay-em here and I should be marching upstairs to go to bed, but I just can't bring myself to. I went out with Curt after rehearsal tonight to get a bite to eat and we ended up chatting for a solid two hours. That was fantastic, but it means my "winding down" time was pushed back a bit further and here I am way past my bedtime still wide awake.
I've been thinking about friendship a lot lately--how I'd like to have more close friends who live in my city. Adulthood hasn't been great for my social life. I've been unbelievably lucky to find Thom, but I think the karmic price for having such a perfect mate is social solitude in other respects.
My best friends at the moment live in California, Indiana, Georgia, NYC, and Germany. I can't exactly catch a movie or go shopping with them. For the most part they don't know my day-to-day gossip, and I sometimes forget vital details about their life, like who they're dating or where they're working.
These are people I've known and loved for years, and some of them, I'm certain, will always be in my life.
But it makes me wonder if I will ever forge lasting bonds with people I can actually see for more than a few days a year. Why is it so difficult to find new friends as an adult? Maybe it's because I don't have a day job or I'm introverted or I'm married. Maybe it's because I move so often.
Or maybe I'm just not that cool.
Increasingly, it feels like the search for new relationships is not only appealing but vital to my survival. So I go out with a cast mate for a late meal in the hopes that something will click, that a new bond will be formed. And I spill my guts into this stupid computer. And not a lot changes.
I'm lucky to have California & Indiana & Georgia & NYC & Germany. I just sometimes wished I had Boston too.
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