cuteness

two weeks later and still in my pajamas

I have officially been a mother of two for 16 days and I can only imagine things going better if I had a 24 hour on-call masseuse and a private Ben and Jerry's store in my basement. This is largely due to the fact that Thom's parents were here for a week and a half of toddler wrangling, and now Thom has a whole week off from work to pick up the slack.

Oh yes, we've had meltdowns and tantrums, we've had blowouts and projectile vomiting, we've had little sleep and less downtime... BUT, we've also had lots of laughs, lots of snuggles, and lots of time together relishing our new family.

Lila is proving to be an exceptionally easy baby to read. She's simple in her needs: feed me, change me, burp me, get me to sleep. If I can accomplish those things, she's a blissful little girl. The biggest challenges right now are feeding her as much as she wants (she likes to nurse pretty much nonstop from 8pm to 11pm) and holding her as much as she likes. Thom takes care of River's bedtime so I can do the evening feed, and the Ergo helps me hold her without giving up use of my arms completely. Even though it seems like a lot, if I think back to how much I held River during the first months of his life, I'm not spending a fraction of that time on Lila. I'm much more willing to put her down and let her entertain herself than I was with River. I don't go rushing in to rescue her from every snort and sigh, and consequently, she's learning to soothe herself much more readily. Some might read that and think I'm short-changing my second child, but I think she will be so much better off with the skills she learning. She will be better adjusted and, just as importantly, she will have a better adjusted mommy.

River has had some tough times this month, but I think it has to do more with his fatigue of company and less with Lila. By the end of their trip, Thom's parents had endured some pretty snotty behavior from the kid - telling them he didn't want their help, wasn't going to talk to them, wasn't going to do what they said. His need for mommy and daddy was intense, and now that Thom's had some time off, River seems happier. His biggest jealousy issue is that Lila gets to sleep in our room and he doesn't. We tried to let him stay in our bed one night this week and it was pretty much a disaster. After Lila's first feeding in the middle of the night, he was awake for another two hours telling us he thought it was wake-up time. Needless to say it is an experiment we will not be repeating.

Aside from having Thom around, another thing taking the pressure off right now is the generous preparation of meals that my friends are doing. About a dozen of the women from my moms' group have taken it upon themselves to cook a meal for us over the next few weeks. It is such a load off knowing we have dinner covered every other day (and can often stretch the leftovers even further), and I am so thankful for their wonderful gift to us.

And speaking of gifts, the best Christmas present we've received this year is the work grandmas Janie and Julie did to POTTY TRAIN RIVER! Yes, that boy is now officially peeing on the potty entirely during the day. He's still in diapers for nighttime, but he's totally in undies once he wakes up. We've had quite a few days without any accidents, and I am so proud of him (and so amazed that it happened right in the midst of a new baby coming). It's pretty much the last thing I thought would happen this month.

Finally, I have to brag just a little because I was shocked to discover yesterday that I have already lost the "baby weight" (this, in spite of the fact that I'm eating anything and everything I can get my hands on). That doesn't mean my shape is anywhere near where I want it to be (my Wii trainer says I'm still fat), but between eating pretty healthy during the pregnancy, burning up calories nursing, and chasing after two kids, I'm 4 lbs lighter than when I got pregnant. Whoo hoo! I went shopping for some non-pregnancy clothes yesterday and was so pleasantly surprised at the sizes I fit into. I think it's a good start for the new year, and I'm hoping to follow through with better eating and work-out habits.

Once Thom goes back to work next week, I know it's going to be rough adjusting to parenting solo most of the time. Our sitter will take some pressure off, but it's nothing compared to having two full-time parents around. I hope I can carry some of the calm and confidence I have right now into the coming months. I would love nothing more than to be this relaxed and happy all the time.

Merry Christmas!

check the awesome hair

Tante Crystal and Oma went shopping so Lila has some great new girly clothes. I love the polka dot onsie and bed head.

little squeeker

Here we are at day four and things just couldn't be going better. River is totally smitten with his sister and is always demanding his turn to hold her. He's been acting out with the grown-ups in his life but has shown no resentment or anger toward Lila (well, except one passing comment about putting her on the stove, but I'd say that's to be expected of a two year old).

Lila is a fantastic eater and an amazing sleeper. We've had two nights in a row where she's slept for chunks of 4 hours at a time. I know it can't possibly last, but I'll take the rest while I can get it. She's generally very mellow and content to nurse or sit in someone's arms. She likes to be near warm bodies and squeaks like a mouse when she's lonely. She wails like a banshee when she's hungry or getting changed, and she manages to spit up on whatever outfit we put her in seconds after.

Lila's daddy is so obviously in love. He had to be out of town one night this week and when he got home he held her for hours just staring at her. That stupid grin on his face made me fall in love with him all over again.

So far life as a second-time parent is much easier. We're calmer and she seems calmer (I love my River but that kid is demanding!). I feel incredibly blessed right now.

family of four

Welcome Lila Jae Doyle! Born at home on December 14, 1:38am. She's a healthy 7 lbs and already has us wrapped around her very little fingers.

things that are difficult about being 41 weeks pregnant

• Beginning every conversation with, "No, I haven't had a the baby yet."
• Following up with, "I have no idea when. It's not up to me."
• Thinking about the fact that my dad leaves in two days and probably won't get to meet this grand-baby for another three months
  
• Feeling River get more and more clingy as he senses the approaching changes in our family
  
• Staying awake for hours in the middle of the night willing myself to have a contraction
• Knowing there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of this

Physically I feel great. It's not easy to get up from a sitting position and I waddle like a duck, but other than that my body feels like it was made to be pregnant. The baby continues to move regularly, my appetite is good, and according to the midwife all my physical stats are great. I'm just so desperate for this stage to be over. I want nothing more to meet my new little one and start on this journey with our new, whole, complete family.

I'm resigned to waiting, but I'm not happy about it.

And we're off...

Last night I woke up with some light, intermittent contractions and had the urge to get up and cook a giant pot of chili at 1am (I don't scrub toilets, my nesting instincts lead me straight to food). Needless to say, I think I'm in the early stages of labor. River took days and days to arrive from the start of my first contractions and since they've been so slow today, I won't be surprised if we don't see Sweet Pea for a few days yet.

But things are moving, and that makes me very happy. Wish us luck in the hours and days ahead!

still here...

...and rocking a ginormous belly. Looks like we'll probably make it to Thanksgiving, which is good because the fridge is stocked and I'm not eating all those cranberries by myself.

McRevelations

River took off the "i" key on my laptop this morning, and while Thom was able to stick it back on, it doesn't engage unless I slam down on it, so the following sentence looked like this the first time around:

Rver took off the " " key on my laptop ths mornng, and whle Thom was able to stck t back on, t doesn't engage unless slam down on t....

You get the I-dea. It's pretty much a pain in the ass. Thanks, kid.

But that's not what I'm really here to write about. I'm not sure what I'm going to write about, but MY GOD THERE ARE A LOT OF "I"S IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!

I'm 37.5 weeks pregnant and I had a little epiphany in McDonald's the other day. What was I doing in that greasy heart attack pit? Well, lately this baby has been making me eat copious, crazy amounts of food, and since it's hard to make handmade, healthy, organic fair 53 meals a day, I've been indulging. Maybe it's because River hadn't thrown a fit yet that morning, or some new hormones kicking in, or I was just overjoyed by the fried goodness of Mchash Mcbrowns, but I suddenly realized that I was ready for this baby to come.

Don't get me wrong - we fully intended to have a new child when Sweet Pea was concieved, but a theoretical new child is really different from adding a real-live squirmy, poopy, attention-sucking adorable little munchkin to your life. And up until that beautiful moment - sitting under a gigantic billboard for Mcfish sandwiches - I was feeling a more-than-vague sense of panic should my body choose THIS moment to go into labor.

But no more. Come what may, we will be ready. So the birth tub's not set up? So be it. I'll have the baby in the bed. My parents aren't in town yet? We'll make due until they get here. We're supposed to be hosting Thanksgiving? Well, what's better than setting a place for one more?

I feel good. And prepared. And huge and hungry all the time, but what's new?

I guess I haven't talked about the fact that we're planning a home birth (and that's a subject for an entirely different post), but knowing that the baby has made it to full gestation and I won't be forced into a hospital should I go into labor adds considerably to my sense of well-being.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. It's a pretty good place to be.

color contest: I'm in!

Every time I enter a contest on Ohdeedoh, I have to wait forever to find out if I got in or not. Just about the time I assume it's hopeless and I didn't make it in, I do a last check, and there I am! That was my nice surprise for today, and it couldn't have come at a better time; I'm sitting home sick and needed something to cheer me up.

I'd love to make a good showing, especially since I've worked so hard to make it a wonderful room for my little pookers, so if you have a chance, go HERE and give me a thumbs up. Voting to get me in the finals only lasts for 48hrs, so if you think you might do it, don't wait.

nursery

After a year of tinkering the nursery is finally complete. I hung the curtains yesterday, did a little staging, and took some pictures to enter into a contest. If I get in I'll let you know how to vote for me. River took a step back from his big boy bed, so he's still enjoying this room. Hopefully he'll be ready to transition back before too long. Here's the final look:

Happy Halloween!

We had a lovely, sugar-filled day today. It started out with jumping in the leaf piles, followed by pumpkin carving, a viewing of my friend Jonathan's very gory horror movie (just me), and closed with a great first Trick-or-Treat outing. Here are some photos of our adventures:

River had a great time in our massive pile of leaves. He kept picking up huge armfuls to add to the pile then leaping in.

Thom's great "Bruce" from Finding Nemo.

I did the scary Jack and Thom carved the Alien at River's request.

Banks Street Doyles in their Cat In the Hat tribute.

The Doyle Monsters. This is the best group shot I have; though it's blurry, you can see I did manage to make our coordinating outfits in time.

The boys were so psyched to head out on their first candy run.

They got the whole routine down pretty fast. No freak-outs, no crying. I was very proud of them.

Handing out candy at the end of the night. You can just see the hint of River's chocolate mustache. And of course the evening ended with the expected sugar-high/massive crash.

Hope you all had some great adventures!

fall adventures

After what feels like an eternity, we have a new babysitter! Twelve hours of my week have been freed up for me to luxuriate in things like assembling baby furniture, grocery shopping, finding xmas presents, sewing Halloween costumes, and oh yes, perhaps blogging. I'm not using the time to get pedicures or massages, but if you have ever tried to go to Whole Foods with a toddler you'll understand how a trip there alone feels just as good as a day at the spa.

I'm not making any promises about blogging more often, but I can say that I don't constantly feel the crushing weight of the world on my shoulders at current, so my mind is certainly in the right place.

First up, I'd like to share some pics with you from the past month:

Here's River enjoying the bounty from our day at the pumpkin patch. Our upstairs neighbors happened to go the same day, so we had quite a haul in front of our house.

Visual proof that I am indeed pregnant. I'm about 28 weeks here (34 now), and the bump is significantly bigger and heavier. The little squirmer is moving all the time and gets the cutest hick-ups. Aside from the waddle, I'm loving this pregnancy.

Daddy doing the work of carving while River practices on his bike. It was an extremely cold day, so Thom made quick work of that pumpkin.

Attaching the pattern. We bought this kit that let you put colored pegs into the pumpkin, essentially turning it into a giant light bright.

The finished product!

The tree in front of our house in all shades of red, orange, yellow, and green. Here you go mom - not as stunning as last year, but it sure is pretty.

River's custom-made monster costume. The specs I had to work with (per River): Dark blue, light blue, and orange with 5 eyes and 5 arms. I took some liberties, but I think I stayed pretty close to his vision. Now I just have to make matching ones for Thom and I.

to the asswipe who cut me in line at the coffee shop today...

Hello there,

You may remember me from this morning. I was the pregnant lady struggling through the cafe entrance with my toddler, who so kindly held the door open for you behind me. You were the guy who let me stand there long past the point of comfort because you were too lazy to reach out an arm and catch the door for yourself. I was that same lady approaching the counter who you squeezed passed with a brisk, "Excuse me," on what I assumed was an urgent mission to the bathroom or a coveted table. Little did I know you were just trying to get ahead of us in line.

Thanks so much. Maybe it didn't look like I had rushed out of the house before having my breakfast and coffee, or that I had woken and dressed my son in minutes so my car wouldn't be towed away on street cleaning day, or that the two of us could possibly make an order quick enough to get you to the front of the line in your due turn. Let me assure you, you were wrong on all counts.

You see, I was a bit flabbergasted and certain such rudeness would be explained by some other pressing circumstances (a double-parked car? running late to work?), but the fact that you followed your coffee order by jabbering at the barista for five minutes about the false rumor of a stolen tip jar makes me believe you weren't actually in any kind of rush. In fact, I feel safe assuming you're just a scumbag without manners who takes any opportunity to screw someone else over for your own advantage.

In spite of all this, I want to assure you that you didn't ruin my morning. I'm growing increasingly accustomed to dealing with Mass-holes on a regular basis, so you probably don't even hold the title spot of d*cks I'll run into today. My son and I did get our coffee, juice, and muffin quickly thereafter, and we enjoyed the food and company immensely.

I hope you enjoyed your coffee. I also hope you found yourself in desperate need of relieving yourself and no bathroom in sight.

Good Day,
The Woman You Cut Off