to the asswipe who cut me in line at the coffee shop today...

Hello there,

You may remember me from this morning. I was the pregnant lady struggling through the cafe entrance with my toddler, who so kindly held the door open for you behind me. You were the guy who let me stand there long past the point of comfort because you were too lazy to reach out an arm and catch the door for yourself. I was that same lady approaching the counter who you squeezed passed with a brisk, "Excuse me," on what I assumed was an urgent mission to the bathroom or a coveted table. Little did I know you were just trying to get ahead of us in line.

Thanks so much. Maybe it didn't look like I had rushed out of the house before having my breakfast and coffee, or that I had woken and dressed my son in minutes so my car wouldn't be towed away on street cleaning day, or that the two of us could possibly make an order quick enough to get you to the front of the line in your due turn. Let me assure you, you were wrong on all counts.

You see, I was a bit flabbergasted and certain such rudeness would be explained by some other pressing circumstances (a double-parked car? running late to work?), but the fact that you followed your coffee order by jabbering at the barista for five minutes about the false rumor of a stolen tip jar makes me believe you weren't actually in any kind of rush. In fact, I feel safe assuming you're just a scumbag without manners who takes any opportunity to screw someone else over for your own advantage.

In spite of all this, I want to assure you that you didn't ruin my morning. I'm growing increasingly accustomed to dealing with Mass-holes on a regular basis, so you probably don't even hold the title spot of d*cks I'll run into today. My son and I did get our coffee, juice, and muffin quickly thereafter, and we enjoyed the food and company immensely.

I hope you enjoyed your coffee. I also hope you found yourself in desperate need of relieving yourself and no bathroom in sight.

Good Day,
The Woman You Cut Off