Dear Mr. Riverton,
Today you turn five months old and I swear it could be five years. Part of that comes from feeling like my pre-baby life is so very distant (who was that woman who woke at a leisurely 9am, who felt harried when she had more than one acting project to work on, who always knew what movies were out--even the independent ones--and managed to see most of them?). Now I wake at 1, 3, 5, and 6am--at which point, your dad will take you for a few hours to give me some blessed uninterrupted sleep (oh glorious day!). Now, I feel harried every minute of every day--always behind, always playing catch up--and I know that comparatively two or three acting projects would be a breeze. Now I barely know when the blockbusters come out and it is a rare weekend indeed when we get to see a movie in the theaters.
I'm a different person--stronger, more resilient, more creative--and though I'm not more relaxed, in many ways I'm much happier.
The other reason these short five months feel so much greater are the changes they have brought about in you. As my friend Melissa recently reminded me, one day very soon I will wake up and you will no longer be my tiny baby, but a little boy. I imagine it happening in an instant--bald and chubby one second, walking around the next--and I look to that time with dread and excitement.
This month you have learned to sit all on your own. You've built a strong trunk and now can get both your feet and hands under you. I watch you struggle to get your limbs to move in conjunction and I know very soon you will have it all worked out and find yourself crawling.
I'm not sure you won't walk first, though. You're getting much better at balancing on your feet when you stand, and now can hold onto one hand for support or even a table. All of your physical accomplishments are a true reflection of your personality; from the moment you were born you wanted to be engaged in your world, to explore it actively with all of your senses. You are so curious and constantly on the go. I don't know where you get all this energy from because your dad and I run on a MUCH slower pace, but you are determined to see and do it all.
We took a family vacation to Martha's Vineyard this month, and it was nice to get away even if the trip wasn't entirely relaxing. Your grandpa Jack, both grandmas, and aunt and uncle were able to come along, so we had lots of hands to help out.
You did great at restaurants, sitting in a high chair contentedly (as long as you had some toys around to drop on the floor repeatedly). And if we didn't spend too much time in the car, you managed road trips perfectly fine (you know, except for those few screaming fits that could have broken the sound barrier). You slept in the house we rented just like it was your own (until you got a cold and couldn't breath through your nose very well).
But we got to go to the beach, and we had some wonderful dinners out, and we ate ice cream every day (you too), so all in all it was a pretty fantastic trip.
It was also exciting because you experienced some great firsts while we were away. You had your first taste of solid foods (which you are super-psyched about and cannot get enough of) and you had your first trip to the ocean (the sand was fun but waves are scary) and you cut your first tooth (with surprisingly little angst).
Your sociability is really developing too. At our weekly library lap-sit you are engaging more and more with the songs we sing and the other babies in the group. You found yourself a little girlfriend this week--she's bald and cute and can stand just like you, so I think it's a good match. I'm pretty sure you want to suck on her face, but we have to save something for your teenage years.
You're making more and more sounds (a few of your babbles even came out sounding like "mama"), and I swear you're imitating your dad and Crystal and trying to do raspberries. "THHHBBBBBT!"
I see your personality developing in such cool ways and I just know you're going to be an amazing little man. You are curious, sweet, determined, funny and so smart. I'm amazed that you came from me and feel so blessed to be watching you grow.
I love you my darling boy,