The Wyrd Sisters

Lila News: 21 Months

2011-10-03T14:52:00.000-04:00

Dear Lila,

I started writing this post in March, and - can you believe it? - I got sidetracked and put it aside. This is what I wrote:

You gave me a kiss for the first time last week (you had already smooched daddy and River a few days before and I was waiting anxiously for my turn). It was a slobbery open-mouthed face mash and just about the sweetest thing ever. It was evening, you were warm and cozy in your pajamas after bath time and your dad said, "Okay, Lila, it's time for bed. Give mommy and River a kiss." You hit us with your mushy love, waved and said "bye bye," and then led the way to your bedroom. Amazing. I think about the fact that you only just learned to walk a few short months ago, that it's even less time since you stopped putting EVERYTHING into your mouth, and I realize how quickly you've gone from baby to toddler.

My heart breaks a little bit to think of those baby days as "past." To know that you won't ever again be a little 8 lb beauty practically floating in my arms; that I can't repeat those precious moments watching you discover your own hands; that I'll never again kiss those impossibly tiny toes. Of course it's not a tragedy because I get to hold my 20 lb big girl as you chatter at me, and I can watch you discover how to hold a spoon or fork, and I can kiss those impossibly cute cheeks (and toes) anytime I want.

I wanted to share this with you because it's such a sweet little kernel of "Lila-life" and I don't want to forget it. You have become quite an adept - and frequent - kisser, and every exit and goodbye is accompanied by a sweet smooch from you. But should I try to request a kiss outside those parameters? Don't even think of it, buddy. I used to worry that you would never be a cuddly kid. You're so independent; you have never needed rocking and holding the way River did. You have always pushed away too much affection and demanded your personal space. But slowly, right about the time you finally deigned to let us have your sweet kisses, you started to allow a snuggle here, a hug there, until now, you will frequently occupy my lap for a long cuddle. The key is that YOU must initiate. If River or I go in for a hug (as we so often want to do), you will resolutely reject all advances. This affection thing will occur on your terms or not at all. It's something I love about you.

Your ability to fend off unwanted advances extends beyond people. I remember a moment from last spring when we were at River's school to pick him up and one of the other parents had brought along their hyper, jumpy little puppy. She was bouncing around from kid to kid and when she approached you for a quick nuzzle, you looked sternly at her and gave her a little "no, no, no" wag of your finger. Every adult around dropped their jaw, then burst out laughing. "Oh my," said one of them, "you don't have to worry about her at all." We'll see.

While you don't want affection thrust upon you, you don't have the slightest compunction about thrusting your affection on animals. Our long-suffering kitties have born the brunt of your rough love, enduring full-body tackles, sticky finger petting, and the occasional fur-pull. Poe is smart enough to move away when she's had enough of your "love," but Edgar is too lazy to move; or perhaps so needy for affection that he is willing to put up with all sorts of indignities to get it.

You love all kinds of animals! You gravitate toward animal picture books and whenever we're outside you're sure to point out the birds and squirrels and bugs that you see. For a while you used the "bird" sign to point out small creatures, making a little "cheep cheep" sound as you pressed your thumb and index finger together. Ducks made the "quack quack" sound, which you imitated quite well, but all other animals were ferocious beasts who made a deep-throated growl. Elephant? Growl. Tiger? Growl. Alpaca? Growl. After learning a series of real and made-up signs, you now know how to distinguish a monkey from a fish from a dinosaur. For all the other myriad creatures you don't know the name for, we now sign "animal." I miss the growl a little bit.

You are a little expert at sign language. I know we could be having full conversations in sign by now if I could learn it more quickly, because you pick up a sign within the first few uses. It's helped us tremendously in communicating with you. You let us know when you're hungry or thirsty, when you need to potty or sleep; you point out things you see like flowers and helicopters (for which you've created your own sign of "air train"!). And while you're moving at your own pace in speaking, you are definitely not missing out on sharing your ideas with us. Sign came in handy a few months ago when you insisted on calling any grown-up mommy, even your father. I taught you the sign for daddy and instantly you were able to say the word. Now grown-ups are divided by gender into "mommy" and "daddy" - which is pretty amusing when you attack a stranger with a hug and an exuberant "Daddy!"

I mentioned your use of the sign for "potty" above and I don't want to skip over the fact that at 21 months you have effectively potty trained yourself. River loves to hear the story I tell about how this came about, so here it is: You followed me into the bathroom one afternoon having nothing on but a diaper. We had taught you the "potty" sign in anticipation of using it down the road, and you signed it to me then. I said, "Yes, mommy is going to go potty." You kept signing and started pulling your diaper off. Finally it clicked and I asked if you wanted to try to go potty. You gave a resounding head nod, so I pulled out River's old training seat and set you up. I figured you'd be there for a few minutes and get off. When I asked if you were done you shook your head no, so we waited a bit more. Finally, I heard a little tinkle tinkle in the pot and I couldn't believe my ears. We decided to seize the opportunity and get you into panties for a training weekend. It went so well that you're now in them all the time (except sleeping), and we have lots of days with no accidents at all. I'm so proud of you.

There is still one area where your independence waivers a bit, and that is blankie. River has his stuffed bear as a sleeping companion but for you, it's always been the little punk rock quilt I made for you. You've never taken a pacifier to sleep, and as I mentioned above, you're not really a cuddler, so most nights your bedtime routine is a few books and songs in a chair, then we lay you down with blankie, you pop your thumb in your mouth and fall asleep. But blankie is such a comfort item for you, you've started carrying it around whenever we let you. And when you have it in your hand, you almost always want to lay down on it with your thumb in your mouth. It's the cutest Pavlovian response I've ever seen. It's really the only time you suck your thumb - but you simply can't resist when you have the pink and black blankie in your arms.

Lila, you are growing into such a fun and amazing person. I've loved watching you transition from teeny baby to independent toddler. You love to follow River around and try to do everything he does. As a result you're quite a good climber and have surprising dexterity. You love music and will dance to the beat anytime you hear it. You are funny and happy and so easy-going. And while the two's are on the horizon, and I know they won't pass us by unscathed, you have already shown us your basic approach to the world: enjoy life, laugh a lot, and don't let the little things stress you out.

I love you my baby girl. To the moon and back.

xoxo,
Mommy

High-flying adventure

2011-08-14T11:27:00.002-04:00

In spite of keeping pretty close to home this summer, we've had some great adventures in and around Boston. This Friday we took a little drive to Kimball Farm in Westford with a few friends from Cambridge. Three moms, six kids, and a crazy amount of fun!

First on the agenda was a hot air balloon ride! I've never been up in a balloon and this was quite an experience. As the kids and I drove up to the parking lot, our friends were already there and waiting in line. The plan was for Hilary and myself to take the 4-year-olds up in the balloon while Sarah stayed down with the three toddlers. I didn't have much time to prepare River or myself for the experience, which was for the best since it didn't give me a chance to get nervous.

River hopped into the doughnut-shaped bucket willingly, we got all the kids hooked onto their safety lines; then, before we knew it, the tether was loosening and we were floating up into the sky. My stomach dropped out from under me and I looked over to River, who showed no signs of stress. Personally, I felt much better knowing we were tied to the ground and wouldn't be going higher than 300 feet.

The other kids did amazingly, and also showed no signs of fear.

We got some video of the adventure. I was terrified I was going to drop my phone, so it's pretty short and sweet.

And here's our shadow as we were pulled down.

Next, we wandered through the farm to see what was available and discovered a fantastic mini golf course. I was drawn to the bumper boats, but the logistics just seemed too difficult to work out. Instead we got three balls and clubs for the big kids, extra balls for the toddlers and we set them loose.

What followed was pretty unrestrained chaos. Everyone was on the green at the same time. The little ones kept stealing the big kids' balls; which didn't actually matter that much as the game they were playing could be considered "golf" in only the loosest of terms.

Basically we'd let them knock their balls around the course until a group came up behind us, then we'd move on.

Here's a typical moment from our game.

It was by far the best mini golf course I've ever been on. There was a little river running next to the course, with bridges, waterfalls, and little gullies. The course went up and down hill and in and out of caves. The kids were never bored, and we wore them out plenty.

A brief moment of calm with River and his friends.

Lila already had a sense for how to hold the club and was desperately trying to play along. (After a short t-ball session yesterday, I can say with near certainty that she is going to be the jock of the family.)

We made it about 2/3 of the way through the whole course before hunger and fatigue took over. We ate at the little outdoor grill nearby while the kids watched the chickens, goats, and ponies play. Of course, some special treats were involved, and River picked out some candy buttons that were a big hit with the whole gang.

Tired, happy kids, at the end of the day.

We had such a great time. I'm so glad to have made friendships like these in our time in Cambridge.

A day in the sun

2011-08-04T10:23:00.005-04:00

One of the really lovely things about where we live is our proximity to the ocean. We haven't spent much time on the water this summer, so we were thrilled to have an invite from River's pre-school teacher to visit her and her husband at their cottage on the cape last Sunday. Thom was out of town on a ridiculously short trip to Europe, so it was just the kids and I (and I could imagine nothing better than to spend the day with a pre-school teacher while doing the solo parenting thing!).

Toni and Derek's house is right on the water, and when we weren't under the shade of the porch snacking and chatting, we were down on their tiny beach enjoying the sand and gentle surf.

Derek has a couple small boats - one that is designed for teaching kids to sail. River went out with him solo before some other guests arrived (another family that goes to River's school), and he just loved being on the water.

Given River's history with boats, I wasn't sure he would last long (he's always been slightly afraid of the water). Whether it was Derek's reassuring demeanor or the boost of confidence from wearing a life vest, River was happy and secure the whole time.

After the little sailing expedition, we all took a walk up the beach to a little inland river created by the tides. River and Derek walked quite a ways, exploring the creatures in the shallow water.

Lila loved chasing the swarms of crabs which made their home on the beach. I wish I had gotten a picture of them all together - there were so many it looked like the sandy beach was rippling. By the time Lila got close, of course, they had scattered.

She did manage to chase one around for a while before he too escaped the reaches of the terrifying toddler.

* Edit: That's funny. I just reread the text here. It's supposed to say "Her Cuteness MUST Be Stopped" but I'm too lazy to change it.

In spite of being forced to skip her nap entirely, she was adorable and happy (with only a few momentary lapses) the whole afternoon. She loved the sand and rocks, but steered pretty clear of the water. She was especially disturbed by the squishy feel of the seaweed on her toes.

After a fantastic lunch, we headed back out to the beach. Before it was their turn to go out on the boat, River and his friends waited excitedly for the guys to set up a little skiff for Daniel (the boys' father) to take out on the water.

I think River has new best bud - he was pretty much attached to Derek the whole day.

Derek got Daniel out on the water while River bravely trudged back to the shore. Once the second boat was ready, River and his friends went out with Derek to a little island across the way. Apparently, River swam for a long time (his bravery boosted by that life vest).

Back on shore, the rest of us enjoyed some more time in the sun and sand. Our pale skin was all pink by the time we left around 5pm, and Lila sacked out on the car ride home. What a memorable, fantastic day!

Estes Park

2011-07-19T09:24:00.001-04:00

On our last full day in Colorado we visited the town of Estes Park and Rocky Mountain National Park with my parents, grandparents, my brother and niece. Estes Park is a charming little town with a creek running right behind the shops on their main street. We enjoyed a little window shopping and lunch before trekking out to the nearby National Park.

The whole gang (from the left): Gordon, Frankey, Nelse, Sydney, Terry, Me, River, Janie, Lila, Thom

I was so glad my grandparents could fly out from Nebraska to come visit us. It had a been a while since we last saw them and they had never met Lila. We had a great time re-hashing old stories and playing 3 to 13 late into the evening while they were there.

Lila loved the little creek and was intent on sharing her sign for "water." After lunch we separated in to two groups. The altitude of the hikes in the National Park was going to be a bit much for Grams and Gramps, so they took a tour of the town with Dad while the rest of us tried to figure out the park shuttle system.

The information site in Estes Park was ill-equipped to handle our questions; after asking for the best shuttle to take for an easy hike for our little ones, the ladies at the desk suggested we "just drive up there" or "just skip the national park and head to the playground up the street."

Needless to say we worked it out on our own.

Lila was thrilled, THRILLED to be in the forest.

As requested, River found giant boulders to climb...

... and treacherous waters to navigate.

We saw a beautiful bull elk munching leaves just off the trail.

After a long hike we made it to the top of Alberta Falls. It was a gorgeous view next to a precipitous fall.

After a wonderful day we headed back to home base and ate Chinese food while screening Independence Day. All around, pretty perfect.

The next day we had to say our goodbyes and head home.

River and Lila were troupers on the flight. Lila even took a nap!

Here she is on the floor of our plane, curled up in her standard sleeping pose: thumb in mouth, favorite blankie gripped tight.

It was a wonderful vacation and one we'll remember for a long time.

Wedding

2011-07-17T20:47:00.000-04:00

We traveled to Colorado earlier this month to attend the wedding of my cousin, Sara, and her beau, Jordan. The weather had been beautiful all week, but of course, as it was time to leave for the wedding site (on the beautiful grounds of a local home) the skies darkened ominously. An hour before the ceremony was to start, it started to sprinkle and the wind whipped around so fiercely tablecloths flew off their stands and my hair decorated my face like Chewbacca. I was certain we'd have a late ceremony or a drenched bride.

Then somehow the clouds cleared and the next thing I knew there stood the groom next to a beautiful, wind-free canopy, and soon after the bride walked toward her man under a clear blue sky. Magic.

We got seated pretty early, to make room for our large crowd.

Lila entertained her great-grandparents, Frankey and Gordon...

... and auditioned for the part of the flower girl.

Uncle Nelse (and the iphone) helped keep River busy.

Jordan looked calm and handsome as he waited for his bride.

Sara was just gorgeous, of course, and so happy. The ceremony was lovely and unique, written entirely by the couple and presided over by their close friend.

After kisses and congratulations were passed around, Lila spent most of the evening doing this:

I had a fantastic time at the reception. The food and company was fantastic. After the kids were fed, we hit the dance floor with the kids and didn't leave until well after their usual bedtime. There is something about dancing with kids that is just so liberating. You don't really care what you look like out there because everyone is just having so much fun.

It was a wonderful, memorable event. Thanks so much, Sara and Jordan, for sharing it with us!

Boulder

2011-07-15T09:54:00.000-04:00

We traveled to Boulder, Colorado over the 4th of July weekend to visit family and attend my cousin's wedding. With 14 of us crammed together in one house it could have been a complete disaster, but the rental house was spacious, the company fantastic, and the bathrooms plentiful, so we did just fine.

We got a ton of use out of the backyard which featured a beautiful deck, lots of grass for the kids and dogs to run around, and a hot tub (!!) for the little ones to enjoy during the warm afternoons. The first evening we were there, we hosted the groom's family at a BBQ for nearly 60 people. Above are Thom, myself, and my brother, Nelse.

Lila is in a super daddy phase right now. She pretty much wanted to spend every waking minute with him during this trip. It was pretty cute - and made more hilarious by the fact that she insisted on calling him "mommy."

River had so much fun with his cousins, Sydney and Chloe. He followed the older girls around for hours and hours, and they never seemed to tire of him. It was the first time I was able to really just let go of keeping track of him every second. I knew he was occupied and safe while playing with them, and that freed up my attention to catch up with family.

Dadu, of course, was a big hit with Lila. She just loves that goofy guy and he adores her. Lila was particularly clingy with mom and dad this trip (thank goodness River was occupied or we would never have had a hand free), but she did let Dadu keep her company.

I was really glad to be able to spend some time with my mom. We prepped meals together, went hiking, and hung out chatting long into the night. Sydney and I took a special Auntie-Niece trip to the nail salon for a mani-pedi before the wedding. I was so glad to introduce her to a key girlie ritual.

The first hike we did together was a short trek up the Ironside Mountains in Boulder. It was a brutally hot day and the little kids got wiped out pretty quickly. A couple of us hung back with Lila and River while the group went on.

While we were waiting River worked on a fairy house (that little bundle of sticks and leaves at the base of the tree). It's something he's been introduced to at school, and now whenever we're in a woodsy place, he likes to construct a home for the wee folk.

That was the first part of our adventure. I'll be back with more on the wedding and a trip to Estes Park soon!

Hello again

2011-07-14T11:45:00.000-04:00

I feel like I've lost my ability to say anything of import. Maybe it's the sweat and sand and exhaustion of these long summer days, but the last thing I've wanted to do these past few months is sit down here and write. Here we are, the year half over, and I feel like the only accomplishment I have to show for it is having survived the winter.

I need a change, some motivation, SOMETHING to help me mark the passage of time (and on this end of 32, time is just cruising along in the carpool lane). Some speed bumps would help, I think.

I am going to try to touch base here (or at LittleSage) every few days. And maybe I'll find my voice again.

River's latest haircut

2011-06-06T18:39:00.000-04:00

Before:

After:

He can see again! This should last through the summer, so he'll be a hippy again when school starts in the fall.

mini me

2011-05-16T13:47:00.001-04:00

Thom and I had reason to get a hold of our preschool photos recently and they are truly stellar. Thom's knee-high black socks and my gap-toothed smile are reason alone to share, but I thought I'd take it a bit further.

Behold:

It's bit eerie, no?

smelly rainbow dough

2011-04-28T10:58:00.002-04:00

This week, River and I made a batch of homemade playdoh with a special twist: scented dough! I got the tip from River's preschool teacher, who used cinnamon to enhance her batch a few weeks ago. When I found a shelf full of awesome extracts at a local market this week, I had just the inspiration I needed. We tried our best to coordinate color to smell, but in lieu of making brown or white dough, our chocolate scent is purple and vanilla is blue.

River had a fantastic time playing with this stuff and has even made an effort to keep the colors separate (for now). The downside is that this dough is not as great for my toddler, as it smells so much like food, she immediately wants to taste it. However, it's made of natural food ingredients, so she's not going to be hurt if she swallows some.

Next time, I'll skip the chocolate - which we liked the least - in favor of cinnamon. And I'll make sure to include almond. That would work perfectly with a pink/red ball since almond is the smell I always associate with maraschino cherries. If you'd like to make your own, see the recipe below. It's super easy!

Homemade Scented Rainbow Dough

Combine in large saucepan:

2 cups flour

1/2 cup salt

2 tsp. cream of tartar

Add and whisk until smooth:

2 cups water

2 Tbsp oil

(If you're only doing one color, add 1/2 - 1 tsp. of food coloring now; otherwise, mix it in when dough is cooled)

Cook over medium heat until playdough is nearly set.

Remove from heat and let cool.

Break into 5 balls and put each in a bowl (I used the plastic containers they were going to be stored in to save on dishes).

Add 1/4 tsp. extract to each ball along with 5 - 15 drops of food coloring.

Knead well with spoon until liquids are mostly incorporated, then finish kneading by hand.

Store in Ziploc bag or air tight container.

Will keep for months if refrigerated.

River's 4th Birthday

2011-04-15T14:33:00.004-04:00

Earlier this month we celebrated River's 4th birthday with a superhero party for 20 kids. We might have gone a little over the top...

A little back story: we're usually in Las Vegas sometime during March and end up celebrating the plethora of March birthdays in our clan (Uncle Nelse, Thom, cousin Finn, me, River, among others...) with one or two large family gatherings. This leaves us back in Cambridge celebrating the actual day with a simple dinner or fun day out. Since we didn't travel in March this year, I realized it was an opportune time to host a party for my boy, and with a few weeks to plan we shot for the stars.

We've also been in the process of re-decorating a few rooms in the house, the last of which was the kids' playroom in the basement. The party was a good excuse to finish the work on that room, so in addition to sewing capes and baking cupcakes for the party, we out-fitted a tumble room with giant soft blocks and a huge mural.

If I accomplish half as much in as short a time for the rest of the year, I'll count it a win.

See more after the jump

On River's actual birthday the three of us celebrated with River's favorite dinner and present opening.

No idea where the kids' wild hair comes from...

He had a wonderful day. His dad got to spend the morning at school with him, he got a special trip to Chuck E. Cheese with mommy, and he capped it all off with a ride on his new balance bike.

The next weekend was the party, and we worked and worked to get everything looking nice.

Superhero capes all in a row.

This was the scene greeting our guests as they entered the house, and each kid got to pick a cape off the hook to wear that day and take home with them.

I sewed this bunting out of some leftover fabric from the capes, and the box in the background was for used books and games for a gift swap. (My friend Sarah gave me the fantastic idea to do a swap instead of gifts for River. River received plenty of presents from family and we certainly didn't need anyone to buy more stuff for him.)

With coats off and capes on, the kids moved downstairs, which was the main scene for the party. Here's the snack table set up and a photo collage of River and his family on the wall. The frames on the table feature pictures of River throughout the years.

Here's the playroom as it looked on the day of the party. Easy streamers and balloons made for festive decoration.

Here's a couple shots of the room as it is today (streamers still up, balloons long gone). I painted the mural over the course of a week. I'm really happy with how the stylized landscape turned out. River says it looks like a stage, which is the perfect response, as far as I'm concerned.

When we decided to make this a rough house space, we knew we would need some flooring that would keep the kids safe enough to launch, jump, and fall. So we got heavy-duty mats like you'd find in a gymnastics class. The soft blocks are the heart of the room, allowing for all kinds of construction and gross motor play. Both are a sizable investment, but from the way the kids use this room (every day) it seems worth it.

Not pictured: Bean bags I made last year and a mini trampoline (Christmas present) that offer even more opportunities to get the wiggles out.

One final word on this room; a huge factor in buying this house was the space available for a kids' playroom. It's taken nearly three years to accomplish that vision, and now that we have, I could not be happier.

The party in full swing.

The kids all seemed pretty excited by the tumble room and made great use of it throughout the day. River's room which is usually the loudest and wildest at any gathering ended up being the quiet room in this case. It was nice to have a space for kids and grown-ups to escape to for some less rambunctious activity.

After a bit of free play time, we had pizza for lunch and then all the kids were instructed to get their capes on for a super secret mission.

Thom had prepared a fantastic scavenger hunt for the kids, complete with a video of himself dressed up as the super villain Badger Beard threatening to ruin the party by detonating dynamite. The kids broke into teams and scoured the house and backyard for the sticks we'd made the day before.

After a successful mission, the kids were rewarded with cupcakes featuring chocolate medallions.

After all my work to get the room ready and party decorations done, I was going to skip on that detail, but the crafty queen inside got the better of me.

As soon as the cupcakes were brought out the table was immediately swarmed.

Here are some of River's playgroup friends enjoying their treats. It was fantastic to have a mix of school and playgroup friends there to celebrate and I only wish we could have included more.

Finally, my little man blew out his candle and we enjoyed the rest of the party as it wound down. It was a memorable event and definitely worth the effort. Happy Birthday, River!

New Quilt

2011-04-10T13:06:00.000-04:00

New post over at Little Sage! Check it out!

Superhero capes

2011-03-24T21:42:00.001-04:00

River's birthday is coming up and we'll be having a party with a superhero theme per the little man's request. What kind of overworked mom would I be if I didn't take this as a direct challenge to make 20 capes as party favors?

Amazingly, I finished the project in three days and there should be enough superhero mojo for each little guest plus a few left over for the preschool dress up closet. River got to model one of the finished products tonight before bed.

And of course Lila got in on the act, too!

Here's a little breakdown of how I made the capes (which is a SUPER easy - see what I did there? - project that would take about 30 minutes, if you're not crazy and making 20 of them). Even with that many I found ways to streamline so, if you're proficient with a sewing machine multiple capes are totally manageable.

First, I found this great tutorial for a quick and dirty cape, and I calculated I'd need about 10 yards of bright fleece for 20 capes. My math was totally off, so if you have any suggestions for what I can do with 3 yards of leftover fleece, by all means pass them along. :)

I followed Amy's instructions pretty closely with two exceptions. First, before cutting I layered four pieces of fleece so I could cut multiple capes at once. Second, I used a rotary cutter instead of scissors. I imagine this saved the project because I turned 3+ hours of work into 45 minutes. (If you do this method, do not forget to put a cutting mat under the fabric. Your floors will thank you.)

For detailed instructions, please see Amy's tutorial - it's very clear. After I assembled the capes, I started on the superhero emblems for the back.

I didn't want to make replicas of existing heroes because I like the idea of the kids making up their own. So I made card stock templates of four different symbols and traced them onto sheets of fusible web. Basically fusible web sticks one fabric to another fabric (in this case, felt) when you iron it on. Remember that any image you draw will be reversed when you're done.

After I had 20 symbols traced, I cut around them, leaving about 1/4 inch outside the line. I situated these onto different colored felt, covered them with scrap fabric (VERY IMPORTANT IF WORKING WITH FELT!) and ironed them on.

Once they were secured to the felt, I cut them out on the line and I had my symbols.

I removed the backing paper, placed them where I wanted on the back of the cape, and (again, using a piece of scrap fabric) ironed it in place.

Voila! Wings!

Considering I was making 20 of these things, I was going to cut myself some slack and stop there. These capes are supposed to be quick and dirty after all, not lifetime keepsakes. But I knew one trip through the wash and that decal would be shot. So I decided to stitch the felt to the cape for extra durability, and I'm really glad I did.

Doesn't this look better? Once I had an assembly line going, it was actually quick work and I'm glad these will stand up to lots of rough play.

Here they are - don't they look pretty?

Lila's cape is a bit smaller than the others (it was from some leftover purple fleece that was just a couple inches shy of Amy's measurements). It worked out perfectly for toddler size.

River made goofy hero faces in the mirror for about 20 minutes before I ushered him to bath.

My handsome little hero and his friends are going to have such a blast at his party. I can't wait!

River News: Month Forty-Seven

2011-03-01T13:47:00.000-05:00

Dear River,

I think it's nearly a year since I've written an update on you. In that time your sister has turned from an infant to a toddler, you started your first year of preschool, your cousin Kian arrived, and both he and Finn moved away. I feel like our home has finally settled after the tsunami of changes your sister brought with her. And you, my little boy, have made some Hulk-sized changes yourself.

Your introduction to school has been such an enormous source of inspiration and growth for you, and in a short time you have learned to navigate new friendships, new authority figures, physical and intellectual challenges, and your role as both leader and student. Our greatest hope for you, as we walked out of preschool that first day, was for you to learn how work with kids your age, letting go of the "this is what I want to do!" mentality and into a space of negotiation. And wow! have our expectations been exceeded. Those first few weeks were hard for you and you spent a lot of time playing alone or trying to strong-arm others into carrying out your grand visions ("We have to make a sand tunnel this way! No, the bulldozers dig here!")

But it only took a few weeks for you to realized that collaborating with the other kids brought about much better results, and some of your strongest friendships formed in the sandbox as you plotted designs together with a new ally. You quickly learned to trust your teachers - two wonderful women who listen to you and respect your ideas while deftly imparting the knowledge that you are not the only person in the universe. You are now seen as a strong force in your school and your attention sought out by other classmates. Of course you have idols, some of the bigger kids more adept physically and further along the road to reading. I love to see you emulating their nobler habits (and yes, cringe when I see you emulating their annoying ones.)

One of your most memorable moments came a few weeks before Christmas break while your class was gearing up for the harvest festival. You had been reading a book called Tiger Soup that inspired the class to create its own imaginary concoction. Your teachers had written down and posted all the fantastic ingredient ideas your classmates came up with and at the bottom of the list I saw with a bit of surprise, "River: cumin." To be honest I was so proud that you had such a sophisticated palate, that some of my cooking knowledge had rubbed off on you. That night I asked you to tell your father what you added to the "Tiger Soup." You replied with glee, "HUMAN!"

Oh. Well that sounds more like you.

This year you have really learned how to be an excellent big brother, taking great care of Lila's safety and happiness. You've come to the realization that Lila takes up some of our time as parents, and you are very patient (within reason) of her demands. Of course you lucked out with an exceptionally undemanding sister, one who basically wanders around looking cute and entertaining herself, so it hasn't been that difficult a task for you. Her adorableness is a huge source of pride for you and you love to show her off and pronounce her victor in imaginary battles having used only her "Cute Ray."

Of course, your need for affection has not waned, and the constant bear hugs and physical displays aimed at Lila are met with joy (occasionally) or annoyance (frequently). You've become accustomed to defending yourself after a squeal from Lila elicits the question, "River, what did you do?!" I'm working very hard not to jump immediately to blame, but come on, you really are the source of most of her outbursts. As for your affection for mommy… let just say I am The Woman in your life and you might just shrivel up without snuggles from me.

The great tragedy of this year has been the relocation of your beloved Finn to Las Vegas. The devastation seemed to hit you in waves and weeks would go by before we would hear the requests to "go visit Finn tomorrow." Your disappointment that it wasn't possible was heartbreaking and the few times you have seen him since have been occasions for great celebration.

As for your interests, in the past year you have gone from an obsession with garbage trucks to dinosaurs, and you have become quite the little paleontologist. It is an ongoing joke between you and I to distinguish a Stygimoloch from a Pachycephalosaurus and you rattle out those names with authority and ease. You know the characteristics of a carnivore vs. a herbivore and are familiar with dozens of dinosaurs and their traits. Your love of knowledge and ever-searching mind is such a source of pride for your father and I. We love that you are a learner, and we are so proud of your curiosity.

Of course, as I write this dinosaurs are being edged out by superheroes in your affection, and you are quickly becoming an expert in those as well. You love the idea of a person with amazing powers, someone strong enough to beat evil and avert death. I came to comic books late in life and usually my choices were off the mainstream superhero tales. But I'm loving sharing this new obsession with you, and both your dad and I willingly read you endless comic adventures.

It has opened the door for robust physical play - great scenarios of good vs. evil you enact with anyone willing. Your dad is your favorite punching bag, and he's often greeted with a tackle and an exclamation, "Let's roughhouse!" When you aren't throwing yourself around an imaginary battleground you love to build with legos or create elaborate forts. You have a designer's mind and you are always full of innovation and creation.

There is so much more I could say about how you've changed and grown this year, but I think I'll close with some of my favorite quotes:

During a sleepover, after ushering Finn out of your room with the same flimsy excuse for the third time in a row: "I don't know why Finn has to go pee so many times."
Your favorite way to say yes for about three months: "Yes-a-tootie rumbo!"
Your warning every time Lila would crawl toward Edgar to tackle him with hugs: "Edgar, run for your life!"
The way you tell me you love me more than anything in the world: "I love you to the bellies of Hogar."

Well, my boy, I love you to the bellies of Hogar and I always will.
xoxo,
Mommy

Lila's new room

2011-01-22T16:00:00.001-05:00

After Megan moved out, we thought about how we might rearrange our space to utilize it better. My sewing room is currently in the open space in the basement and Lila was upstairs close to Thom and I. Megan's room, the guest bedroom, is downstairs next to River, so we decided to move Lila down there to be close to her brother. Then we can move my sewing space upstairs to Lila's old room, and open up the old sewing space as a playroom for the kids. That way I get a space to work in with a door that closes, the kids have a much larger space to play in, and no rooms are unused.

Last week we worked on the first part of the change: moving Lila downstairs. It was a slow process, but it's turned out pretty nice. We touched up the old lavender paint on the walls and painted the white bricks chartreuse. I added some huge leaves to the walls to complete the garden theme already in place with flower and bug decals on the walls.

On the right is the entry door and the left is her closet door. The changing table and diaper pails fit nicely in the little alcove at the entryway.

Here's her closet - which still needs a little organization - but the dresser fits nicely and right now her hanging clothes fit fine on the bar.

In the opposite corner is her crib and rocking chair. You can't see it here, but there's actually some floor space for her to play on. I think eventually we'll need to get rid of the chair to open it up some more, and the room is just begging for a fun new rug.

To the right of the crib is the door to the storage closet/tool room. She has an assortment of toys in the fun zoo baskets and plenty of board books to keep her entertained. Of course both kids have more toys than they know what to do with, and most of those will eventually end up in the playroom.

So step one is done. Next I need to do some work on Lila's old room. I've removed the decals from the walls and it needs a fresh coat of paint. I'll add some shelving to the closet then move my sewing table and accessories in. We'll get a couch with a pull-out bed and use it as a guest room when needed. Much better use of space than keeping a queen size bed in an unused room.

We already have some fun ideas for the playroom and I'm pretty excited for the kids to have a designated play space. When we moved into this house I always imagined downstairs as the kids' den and we're definitely making strides in that direction.

Don't let those sweet faces fool you

2011-01-19T10:40:00.000-05:00

I've been searching for a new sitter since December, and I think I'm close to finding one. I had an excellent phone interview with someone a few days ago and I'll be meeting her in person this afternoon. I got off the call and said to Thom, "I love her. She seems perfect. Please, God, I hope she's the one." Can you hear the desperation? If she doesn't show up with a hook for a hand and a bag of dead puppies, it should be a lock.

Without any help this past month, I've been basically surviving the daily grind. No time for sewing, no time for blogging, and without a date night with Thom to remind me I'm more than a mommy machine, I'm kind of going crazy. I've had more than few days of feeling ready to be strapped down in a padded room, but the end is in sight. I thought I would enjoy my solo time with the kids a bit more, but this past month has brought some insane developmental changes in Lila and a whole new round of monstrous testing and tantrums from River. So what I thought might be leisurely days at the library or playing dress-up have turned into nearly non-stop screaming matches with a 3 year old broken only by the occasional trek through the house to picking up EVERY. SINGLE. ITEM. pulled from our drawers, cabinets, and shelves by Lila.

So if you've noticed an absence here in Summerland, now you know why. Hopefully, my sanity and I can make an appearance again soon.

Christmas wrap-up

2011-01-02T21:25:00.004-05:00

We had a wonderful Christmas holiday in Las Vegas with the extended family. Here are some highlights.

River wore his new super hero cape pretty much everywhere, including this trip we made to the Natural History Museum. Here, he and dad are hot on the trail of a T-rex in the NHM parking lot.

The kids had a blast in the aquarium section of the museum. Lila, Nanu, River, and Thom especially loved the shark tank.

We all got to meet little Kian Doyle for the first time.

Dadu set up this awesome cardboard playhouse and of course the big kids had to get in on the decorating. I was so happy to see Jenn and Alex during their short trip to town.

Syd and River enjoying some brief outside time between days of rain.

Lila got ready for her big birthday bash with a million balloons.

Christmas morning at my folk's place. Mommy and Lila opened her stocking together.

Nanu and Dadu looked through their photo album from us.

Finn spent some quality time with his new brother, Kian (on the right I think), and cousin Quentin. The little ones share the same birthday.

Christmas morning was so exciting!!

Dinosaurs were the theme at Oma and Opa's house. River got two buckets full of them, two huge figurines, and a dino shirt.

The remote control buggy was a favorite present.

Doyle men (and Kian).

Mommy and River relaxing with a morning snuggle.

Little Jawa Lila playing outside at Oma's house.

Footy pajamas! My Christmas darlings had a wonderful time in Vegas, and now we're all glad to be home (except for that pesky time adjustment).

The Dress-Up Closet pt 1

2010-12-18T08:44:00.001-05:00

I was inspired by an old armoire that's been taking up space in River's room since we moved in. I've always thought it would make a great dress-up closet, so I decide this year my big Christmas gift to the kids would be to outfit it for them.

Starting in November, I scoured used clothing stores for costumes, accessories, and clothes I could easily convert into costumes. Since we're leaving for Vegas tonight (and I can't really carry a closet in my luggage), I had an early deadline.

My first find at an antique store was a fantastic vintage hat and a pair of gloves (the hat is wrapped in tulle and is just the kind of thing I would have loved as a girl). I took a child's skirt and added some straps to make a fancy dress.

The tutu's were a yard sale steal ($1 for both!) from last summer.

Another fancy dress and a fairy cape I made from an adult skirt.

I found the knight costume at the Garment District and cobbled together two different pieces from the Salvation Army to make a martial arts outfit.

Blue from Blues Clues also came from the Salvation Army, and the turtle was River's Halloween costume from 3 years ago complete with homemade shell.

Two capes made from adult skirts.

Magician/Evil Villain and Super Hero.

And a last minute Fairy costume from the Garment District, which needed a little work around the seams.

And that's it! In all I think it cost maybe $30 and I'm sure it's a present that will get use for years to come. I know River will probably lean toward the hero costumes and Lila (once she's older) toward the girly ones. But I love that there are options and if River wanted to be a fairy and Lila a knight I would be delighted!

We gave the kids their big presents last night, so I'll have some reaction shots to show you.

20 pictures and this is the best

2010-12-12T21:50:00.000-05:00

River's response to the holiday family photo

doing stuff

2010-12-12T12:17:00.001-05:00

Lots of adventures this week!

River and I baked Christmas cookies - we even managed to decorate most of them before devouring the batch!

Lila got into the cabinet and opened a box of Bisquick all over the floor. Her brother helped to clean up (by which I mean he posed for the picture with a broom). Good work kids!

We met up with some friends at the Science Museum and River had a blast in the K'Nex exhibit.

And Lila enjoyed her time in the fishbowl at the Discovery Center.

Hey Lila...

2010-12-07T11:14:00.000-05:00

Let's go to the library.

I love the library!

Me too. Why don't you pick out a book?

Hmmmm.... what to pick...

Got one!

Good. Let's find a comfy spot to read.

Okay. What now?

Well, open it up.

Hrmph. This is hard.

You'll get it.

Got it! Now what?

We read it.

Like this?!

Yes. Yes, that's perfect.

Lila on the move

2010-12-07T09:24:00.000-05:00

These kids sure are in sync. River took his first steps just a few weeks before his first birthday and Lila-girl has done the same thing! I take full credit for the poor cinematography here - but the star of the show is top notch!

Double click on the video to see the whole screen.

... and oh yeah!

2010-11-26T16:15:00.000-05:00

How could I forget one of the most memorable parts of our Thanksgiving, our annual trip to the fire station!? This was the third year we've gone on an after-dinner walk to the firehouse to bring dessert to the guys (and gals!) and say thanks. The firefighters are always so nice, showing us around and letting River climb on the trucks. They seem to appreciate the visit as much as we enjoy making it.

As we arrived last night two of the trucks had just gone out on an alarm, but there were a couple guys still on duty. They seemed excited by River's enthusiasm, and he had a great time asking questions and checking out the equipment.

I'm so thankful for the brave men and women who put their lives on the line to protect us - firefighters, police officers, our military - no matter what the day. I know they must miss being with their families, but their work is appreciated. THANK YOU!

Scenes from Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T10:28:00.003-05:00

We celebrated Thanksgiving at home this year; just our little group, including Megan. We had a lovely, mostly mellow day. Some of us are still recovering from colds and River has completely given up sleeping in his own bed - preferring instead to kick dad in the head and suffocate mom all night. Lots of sleepless nights plus no outdoor time made River a wee bit manic, but we managed to corral him, play with Lila, and cook a 10-dish meal! And we made it to the table only an hour and a half past our estimated dinner time!

River and I made these pumpkin centerpieces yesterday. He did a great job arranging flowers and loved the cat tails. I love that he's big enough to do these arts and crafts projects with me.

After wrestling him out of his pajamas (around 3pm) he sullenly agreed to help set the table (by which, I mean he threw the place mats on the floor and let Megan and me set it). Did I mention the kid hasn't slept in a week?

Megan looking lovely with my little fox.

Now here's someone who enjoyed the whole day. My sweetie Lila.

Yup. The best group shot we could manage.

Lila needed a little cranberry fix before dinner. After watching The Walking Dead, all I can think is BRAINS.

My handsome chef.

Ornery booger.

Aaahhh! Get the giant forks away from him!

Our massive feast... for three adults, one preschooler, and a baby. Even after taking part in so much of the cooking, River stuck with rolls for the night. Thank goodness we love leftovers!

Happy Thanksgiving from the Doyles! Hope your holiday was as fun and memorable as ours!

River's Gallery

2010-11-09T20:23:00.002-05:00

With two years of art classes under his belt and now daily access to art at preschool, River has made countless paintings, sculptures, and collages. I can't bear to throw any of his creations out just yet, but we are amassing quite a pile and more comes home everyday. I display what I can and store the rest, but I was inspired to take it a bit further during a conversation with the little artiste last night.

He was telling a story in which one of his sculptures was displayed in a museum and everyone came to look at it. I told him we could do that at home: pull key pieces of his work out and display it like a gallery. We could even have an opening with hors d'oeuvres and cocktails. With the mention of snacks he was sold and with the thought of cocktails I was.

Together, River and I worked on choosing the artwork and hanging it (at least until he got bored). Then the whole family assembled to mingle and enjoy his hard work.

Thom and River prepare our snack table.

Helping to pour sparkling cider. One wall of paintings in the background.

The sculpture table. The clay piece is entitled "a-bug-a-bug"

"Good guy ship with rain protection"

"My Family" from this September and two untitled finger paintings from 2009 (his early work)

River's favorite, "Untitled" in sand

Our sitter, Megan, joined the festivities.

Lila was very "into" the art; her brother was patient with her hands-on approach.

Overall it was a great success. We had a wonderful time looking at some of River's past and current creations. He really enjoyed talking about his work and I loved celebrating it in a memorable way.

If I had planned this more in advance, I would have taken the time to make cards with the name of each piece (if titled), the medium, and the artist's thoughts. As it is, I think this will be just the first of many gallery openings our home will see.

bloodletting

2010-11-01T11:52:00.003-04:00

Somewhere between chopping veggies, keeping Lila away from the oven, and picking up dropped crayons, River asked me whether a person could bleed so much that they died*. Perhaps if the usual dinnertime chaos swirling around weren't so, well - chaotic - that question would have set off alarm bells; but as it was, I said, "Yeah. If they lost enough blood a person could bleed to death," and went back to chopping and guarding and helping.

*(edited: This might seem like a bleak and startling question for a 3 year old, but River is very curious about physiology and we often have frank discussions about how the body works.)

Flash forward a few days and River is getting a much needed haircut. I finish up, brush him off, and start to vacuum when I hear a shout of alarm. He's staring at his thumb and saying, "You cut me, mom!" I KNOW his fingers weren't anywhere near the scissors but he does indeed have a little nick on his thumb. I examine it and proclaim, "It's not too bad. Need a kiss?" Usually that would be a perfectly acceptable remedy, but today River seems really freaked out.

"No mom! You cut me! I need a band aid!"

Still not sure why this particular scratch has him so stressed, I patch him up and we all move on. Later that night I'm sitting on the couch working on a photo project when River brings me a mushroom slicer from the kitchen. I have no idea why he's brought it out, but I tell him it's too dangerous to have laying around and he needs to bring it back to the kitchen and put it away. A few minutes later I hear shrieks of alarm. Thom gets to him first and then calls for me to help. I see blood gushing from River's index finger and realize he's cut himself on the slicer.

We get the cut washed off and it's a tiny little thing, but it's a bleeder. River is screaming and clawing at his dad, and when he says, "Make it stop! I don't want all my blood to come out and die!" it suddenly hits me. That little throwaway conversation we had days before was not such a throwaway. We get the cut cleaned and bandaged and River calms down measurably.

I do my best to explain that he can't bleed to death from little cuts like that, but he's having none of it. The idea of mortality has hit him hard and reassuring words are not helping. His fear of blood has gotten so extreme that River made us come home from Trick-or-Treating to get a band aid for the minuscule scrape he got from falling on his hand. There wasn't even any blood.

I'm not sure what to do about the cloud of doom hanging over my little boy's head. We started having conversations about death a few months ago, and while it often makes him sad to think of other people dying, this is the first time he's really started understanding his own mortality. In the last two days I've heard him say, "I'm going to stay downstairs in my room all the time. There's no sharp things down there," and "I'm not going outside. I might fall."

If you know what an adventurous, rough-and-tumble boy he is, you understand how out of character these statements are. I know it's important for him to work through these ideas in his own way, but I sure wish I could save him the trauma of it.

This kid's got way too much adventuring to do to live in a plastic bubble.

P.S. Here are some before and after shots of his hair.

Hello to you too

2010-10-29T09:42:00.000-04:00

Upon waking yesterday morning, Lila saw our cat, Edgar, in the kitchen, waved to him and said, "Hi!" She said "Hi!" again about half a dozen times yesterday to me, River, daddy, and my friend Jonathan. Aside from Ma-ma-ma (me) and ba-ba-ba (what she uses for her "boys," daddy and River), "Hi" is her first word. It's so indicative of her personality that a friendly greeting would be high on her list. Lila continues to be my angel baby - sweet and happy, curious and able to entertain herself. She has her determined moments; times when a freight train barreling toward her coudn't keep her from her goal. But for the most part she's a bright light of love in this house.

I'll be excited to see what words come next - what inspires her, what she wants or likes. Puppies and sunshine, I bet. I was looking over this post about River's first words and was amused to remember that "Hi" came much later on his list, and long after "trash," "digger," "beer," and "boobies."

It's all about priorities.

browner pastures

2010-10-18T10:33:00.001-04:00

The Banks Street Doyles are officially packed up and moved out. Crystal and Finn flew out a couple weeks ago and Kevin drove toward Vegas Friday night (he should be pulling in soon). We came over that afternoon to help with the final packing up the POD and cleaning.

River hauled a ton of stuff.

Lila relaxed.

Shawna worked hard on finishing the kitchen.

And Kevin answered the question of where the spare keys and museum card ended up - attached to the corn chips, of course!

"Have a good day at Las Vegas" guys!! We'll miss you!!

shame is a great motivator

2010-10-07T20:47:00.000-04:00

I was inspired to take some "After" pics of all my various projects...

New blue walls and T-Rex with "Sera" the triceratops. And I'd like to say that "duff" cap with the bottle opener is River's, but it's actually his dad's.

A massive apatosaurus and River's bunk bed.

Pterodactyl? Pteranodon? Not sure.

River's new bookcase (which holds half of his books and quarter of his toys).

Bean bags

Dinosaur habitat

Tada! There you have it folks!

on how I can't finish anything

2010-10-06T23:31:00.003-04:00

Okay, that should be, "on how I finish a sh*tload of stuff, but can't get it together to blog about it."

I've been in an insane crafty mode for some time now. Besides working on products for my business, I've had an overwhelming urge to make stuff for my kids. Last night I couldn't fall asleep for the thought of the bean back toss game I want to build for them. This will involve cutting, sanding, assembling, painting, and sewing, but I was so psyched about the idea I nearly leaped out of bed and started pulling out plywood at midnight. So today, with the little free time I had, I pulled fabrics and sewed six bean bags. I've been working on stuff like this for months.

Sometime during the summer I mentioned to River that when he was ready we could redecorate his room - swap out the decals and add some new shelving. Little did I know my casual remark would turn into a full blown mission for him. For weeks he talked about putting up huge dinosaurs on his walls and changing the paint color. It got so bad he would climb out of bed at night complaining of being scared, "because I don't have any dinosaurs on my walls to protect me from monsters." Geez, kid, you mean business.

So one weekend we got into do-it-yourself mode and took the old car decals down, patched and primed the walls, painted, went to the fabric store and made a batch of dinosaur decals. I took photos of the entire process - EXCEPT FOR THE FINISHED LOOK! All of that work - and it turned out great, I might add - and I keep from posting about it because I don't have the "After" shot.

And I'm too lazy to just take the damn photo.

So what follows are all of the many projects I've worked on - and finished - that don't have final photo representation.

Before the dinosaur redecoration, I got an idea that River and I should make a dinosaur habitat for him to play with. He got really into it and insisted on including a volcano and meteorite to show the possible ways they met with extinction. (The red and gold glitter were his idea - yes, my son is pretty fabulous.)

I was most excited to work on a paper mache cave with River. He got really into it, and we had a blast making it. But it took time to dry and in the mean time, I got some shots of him playing with the (mostly) finished diorama.

No cave, photos, of course. But it's awesome, trust me.

Then came River's room redecoration. Here are the patched walls, waiting for new paint.

And a half-painted wall.

Making the pattern for one of four dinosaur decals.

Half-finished stegosaurus. And that's it! I'm sure you'd love to see the walls, dinosaurs, and enormous new book/toy shelf, but sorry. I can't be bothered.

Finally, here's the pattern for two bean bag chairs I made for the kids. I was going to write a whole tutorial to put up on my design blog, but this is what you get.

A half-finished, inside out bag. It rocks in real life! I swear!

Just in the time since Lila was born, I'm sure I've finished a dozen blog-worthy projects, many lacking any photo documentation. Think there's any chance an "in-process" design blog would take off?

life on the playground

2010-09-24T12:55:00.000-04:00

As summer draws to a close, we're spending as much time outside as possible. Lila is a huge fan of the sandbox and River is a building machine. Here are some of our recent adventures:

She's on a steady diet of sand and wood chips outdoors, and you can see little bits of her last meal on her cheeks.

River loves the Cambridge Common Playground (aka the conveyor belt playground) largely because of these great blocks. He built this castle with a little help from some friends this weekend.

Lila loves the swings and squeals when she's in them.

With River in school, Lila and I get to spend one on one time exploring outside. She had a blast crawling through the tube at Hancock this week.

okay, here goes...

2010-09-23T09:04:00.001-04:00

I've been working on a project all summer that I'm finally ready to reveal: I've launched a new blog to support my new etsy site!

From now on, I'll be posting crafty projects and tutorials on littlesage, the blog, while I sell some great baby gear and accessories at littlesage, the shop.

Here's a taste of what you can find at my shop:

Please stop by and let me know what you think!

Lila News: Nine Months

2010-09-15T20:27:00.004-04:00

Dear Lila Jae (and, yes, you should get used to hearing both names - it's a verbal tick none of us can help),

I need at least three more of these updates to fully describe all that has happened in the past four months, but we'll just have to manage with this. METAMORPHOSIS! You are a little butterfly, my beautiful girl, compared with the cute little caterpillar you were just back in May. Then you were just learning to roll over. Now? You roll anywhichway, sit up, crawl, pull up, feed yourself, and run a little sports-book in the back of the house.

You're still an epically good sleeper, but you don't do it nearly as often. For the first six months you pretty much slept all the time with very short breaks to wake up, look around, be cute, and fall back into your natural state of slumber. Then all of a sudden you WOKE UP. You still manage to sleep through the night, and given the right conditions you still nap easily, but you decided that 10 naps a day was for wussies, you only needed 2 or 3. At first we were so confused that our little angel baby was turning into such a fuss bucket - and then we just stopped forcing you into your crib and you stopped screaming at us. Funny that.

It wasn't just that you stopped needing sleep, you really started engaging in the world. You wanted to be in it - play with your brother, tackle the cats, show mama how clever you are. You decided about 2 months ago that you wanted to crawl, and you just worked and worked and worked until you could do it. You still entertain yourself most of the time (you go from toy to toy, investigate the kitchen or under the dining table - perfectly content), but you have to be moving. In fact, your need to move is so strong that anything that slows you down gets the Lila Scream Treatment. Diaper changes, dressing after bath, trimming your nails - all ridiculous tasks you want nothing to do with. And when I carry you, you are all business: what can I see? what can I reach? where are we going? There are no sweet snuggles into mommy's shoulder; I have to carry you face forward - arm across your chest and hand between your legs - so you have the view you want.

In fact, you have such a minimal need for affection that you weened yourself at 8 months. By that point we were really only nursing a few times a day and you were so disinterested in the task, I stopped forcing it on you. It definitely hurt my heart to think you weren't devastated by the loss of connection, but as Nanu recently pointed out, River probably nursed enough for both of you. So, my body is my own again (for the first time in 4 years!) and you are thrilled to hold your own bottles.

I never imagined you would be so fiercely independent. You are so easy going in so many ways, but when you set your sights on a goal you are relentless. We struggled for months trying to feed you that icky glop of first foods (oatmeal and jarred fruit). You wouldn't touch it. You were obviously hungry, but you pushed the spoon away like a little rage-filled gremlim. Finally out of desperation - even though I didn't think you were ready - I started trying more solid foods: chopped bananas, avocados, cooked carrots. You LOVED them. But you had to feed yourself. You would reject any offer of help, and even if it took 12 pieces of cheerio falling into the cracks of your seat before one piece hit your mouth, you were determined to do it yourself. We've since managed a kind of compromise; you get plenty of Lila-friendly bites and in return you grudgingly let me slip a spoonful or two of yogurt or pears in your mouth before you take the spoon and fling the contents around the room. It works.

You have the sweetest krinkle-nose smile - made even cuter by the six teeth occupying your mouth. You love to make people laugh and will do silly tricks or little pop-pops with your mouth to elicit a smile. You love to blow raspberries and you say mum-mum-mum and dah-dah-dah.

As for your brother, River is still the center of your world and when he's gone (as he will be much more often now that he's starting preschool), you get bored and fussy. Where's my brother? Where's the fun guy? Thankfully he's dealing with your mobility well. We try to distract you enough for him to finish any building projects (which he's usually making for you - his demolition crew), and he is great about finding things for you to play with or trading toys when you've got something he wants. I love seeing you together. I love knowing you will have a relationship that no one can touch. I love that he protects you and I love that you look up to him so much.

It's been a busy summer full of travel and lots of firsts (ice cream! eating sand!), and through it all you just keep growing and asserting that amazing personality of yours. You are still the zen master of the house, but under that calm exterior is a fierce little fireball lying in wait.

I love you my perfect little girl,
Mama

first day of school

2010-09-14T20:52:00.001-04:00

River gets ready to go to nursery school with all his gear - dinosaur backpack, dinosaur shirt, new sneakers. (Oh, yeah, that is a carved pumpkin. Thom took the kids apple/pumpkin picking last week and they got crafty this weekend.)

Proud mama and cute sister with the big guy

His very own cubby

River jumped right in. Toni, his teacher hung out when I slipped away (and I didn't cry, I swear. Okay, maybe a little).

Hey Lila...

2010-09-10T08:51:00.001-04:00

Yes?

Can you show mommy how you crawl?

Sure!

And how do you stand up?

Like this!

Very good! Now, who's your favorite brother?

Umm.... I don't know...

Really?

Okay! Okay! It's this guy!

summer break

2010-08-11T21:51:00.000-04:00

Taking a vacation. Me, my honey, and the kids. See you on the flip side - more tan and relaxed (I hope).

my little teenager

2010-08-08T21:24:00.001-04:00

This was taken on the way to the Berkshires last month. He so rarely gets videos in the car (only for long trips), he pretty much turns into a zombie once he's into them.

the many uses of avacado

2010-08-02T18:59:00.005-04:00

facial moisturizer

hair conditioner and laundry booster

She really is a huge fan of the stuff, but I'm not sure whether she likes the eating or playing more. About half of the bites went from fist to back of head. After she rubbed that in nice and good, she'd pull her hand around to her face and rub cheeks, eyes and up the nose.

But she's got a lovely glow today.

I'm kind of a horrible mom

2010-07-23T21:34:00.004-04:00

*Seriously minor Toy Story 3 spoiler in here, FYI*

River has had such a growing love for dinosaurs lately and I've been feeding that obsession whenever possible. There are some great books out there with detailed pictures of what dinosaurs might have looked like when they roamed the earth, and there are some educational shows (like Dinosaur Train - Seriously, who was the marketing genius that came up with that one?) that he can watch to see dinos in action. But they're cartoonie, (and unrealistic if we're being picky - that T-Rex, Buddy, would have ripped his adoptive Pteranodon family to shreds in the real world). Finding a source for real-looking live-action dinosaurs was proving difficult. Finally, on a whim Thom bought Jurassic Park, thinking River could watch some of the more mild, non-T-Rex-eating-that-dude-on-the-toilet scenes. But tonight, faced with no other good options for a fun Friday night family movie we decided to just run the whole thing and see what happened.

My kid is wacko.

He screamed more in Toy Story 3 than he did watching Jurassic Park. Buzz Lightyear gets reprogrammed? AAAAAAAHHH! T-Rex munches on some lawyer? Awesome.

Now, he did get scared, but it wasn't the out of control "Turn it off! Turn it off!" scared some other movies have inspired (like Bee Movie. Bee. Movie. That kid's sense of terror is completely twisted.) In fact, he offered to "protect" me when I was too scared to watch the scene with the Velociraptors in the kitchen.

I think he was just so thrilled to finally see real-looking dinosaurs in action, he didn't care who they were eating. Since we watched to whole movie, the start of bedtime was a bit late, and wired up as he was from finally seeing his favorite creatures in the whole world alive(!) he did not go down easily. Shortly after I gave him his last hug he came out of his room with the excuse that he needed to pee. Two minutes of stalling later - and no pee - he was back in his room. Then, he came up the stairs with both of his bears and his water and sat on the top step saying he couldn't sleep. He wanted someone to come play with him.

Being the awesomely-engaged parents we are, Thom and I ignored him and continued to putter on our computers. I figured he'd get bored sitting there with no one to talk to and head back to bed. He gave a few more half-hearted attempts to get our attention, but we didn't respond. When he had been quiet for about five minutes I looked over and saw this:

I carried him downstairs to his bed and he didn't stir. I sure hope he's having sweet dino dreams (and not the kind that will have him in our bed at 2am).

home from the cape

2010-07-18T22:06:00.007-04:00

Long, wonderful days at the beach

Lila learned to sit and got her first two teeth!

River lived for the outdoors

And playing with his cousin

Oma showered attention on her little girl

And so did Opa

Really, I only took a couple pictures...

We had a fantastic week!

inspiration

2010-07-07T17:17:00.005-04:00

The Apatosaurus (aka: Brontosaurus) River and I made out of playdoh this morning:

The Apatosaurus shirt I made for River this afternoon:

(See? I don't just sew clothes for Lila)

what we're all working on

2010-07-06T16:52:00.004-04:00

As you can see, dinosaurs have not completely pushed out River's love of all things trash. A bit of packing foam in the mail inspired a whole new round of the city dump game. But since he came down with a fever this morning the only thing River's working on is recovery (mainly in the form of snuggling with mom and napping).

Lila is working on SITTING UP!! Go little girl, you rock!

And I've been working on appliqueing onsies. The skull shirt Lila is wearing above is a recent design as is this inverted-appliqued bouquet. I like the process of "sketching" with the sewing machine. Definitely a work in progress, but I'm seeing all kinds of possibilities with this technique.

Thom is working really hard on just plain work. He's been a machine lately and I'm hoping he'll be able to enjoy some down time soon.

kids

2010-06-27T21:09:00.005-04:00

all in the name of science

2010-06-19T21:21:00.005-04:00

Lila took part in a study with the Children's Hospital this week and I would be remiss if I didn't remind you of River's similar adventure with what I fondly think of as The Brainulator Cap!

Awww... just look at my little science experiments....

As a side note, I was re-reading River's six month post and thinking how different things are now. Just take all that stuff about difficult sleep and lack of social life - imagine the opposite - and you'll have life with Lila. Somehow life with two kids is easier now than it was with one kid then. How's that possible?

I just love this picture

2010-06-18T22:22:00.001-04:00

Nanu and Lila on our trip to the Berkshires

subtitled: WHACK!

2010-06-16T16:00:00.003-04:00

River has been obsessed with two things lately: dinosaurs and stories. Here, we combine his two great loves in film:

(double click to see the wide screen version)

River News: 3 years

2010-06-15T11:58:00.006-04:00

Dear River,

These days whenever someone asks you how old you are, you hold up your fingers and say, "I turned three for my birthday in Las Vegas. It's a LONG way away so you have to take a plane." Your birthday was over two months ago, but the memory of that trip is burned into your brain still. I am both thrilled and terrified that you are at an age where you will start forming permanent memories. Up until now there was a reasonable expectation that most of the stupid mistakes I've made as a parent at least wouldn't scar you for life. No more.

You are so sharp and your ability to remember the minutest detail boggles my mind. That Las Vegas trip, for instance, still inspires you to talk about the hiking you did "in Red Rock with cousin Sydney" or "swimming in the pool at Oma's house." You love to tell about what you know, and you can go on and on about different kinds of dinosaurs ("a T-rex is a meat eater which is a carnivore") and trucks ("I call these twisty things in my trash truck spirals but Dadu calls them augers") and nature ("that plant is a shrub because it's short and fat"). Your vocabulary and comprehension of the mechanics of the world is unbelievable. Thankfully you still have a few adorable mispronunciations to remind me you're just a little kid (cimanon, quiwet time, and pre-tors are my favorite ones).

Physically you are way past toddlerhood - there is nothing uncertain or weak about the way you move your body. You are a skilled climber and love to run, spin and dance. Your little swivel-hip dance moves could give Elvis a run for his money. We spend lots of time working on art projects and your manual dexterity is getting so strong. In art class you've started creating shapes in the paint (mostly monsters) rather than just filling the page with color, and you work so hard at coloring in the lines at home.

Probably your favorite thing to do right now is spend time in the backyard with your dad. You help him with the yard work, have squirt gun or water ballon battles, or just play on your play structure. You love to be dirty and mourn the loss of your grime each night at bath time. If we let you, you'd always be in your pajamas (which is a trait you get pretty equally from your parents) and never cut your hair. You are such a hippy.

As you learn more and more about the world, I can see bits of your innocence ebbing away. You're starting to explore the idea of death in lots of different ways. You are so sad the dinosaurs are extinct and you talk all the time about a dinosaur land where they are still alive and you can visit them. When we play fighting games you make it clear that you're just pretending and you "don't really want to dead mommy."

This grappling with life and death influences your ideas about food too. You are connecting the idea that meat is dead animals and you've played with the idea of being a vegetarian like mommy. I don't push you, but I do want you to be aware of where all your food comes from - to think about it as a choice, not blindly eating whatever is put in front of you.

Still, you are innocent in so many ways. Most of our mornings begin with you crawling into bed with me and snuggling for a few minutes before you're off at breakneck speed for the day. Often, Lila is in bed too, and you attack her with hugs and kisses. I cannot tell you how much I love these quiet moments before the storm; it's my favorite part of the day and I hope you don't grow out of these cuddle sessions too soon.

I don't know if it's just a short period of peace or the nice weather or a real shift, but you have really mellowed in the past few weeks. From the time you were about 2.5 to just recently I felt like we were in a constant state of battle. You have been pushing and testing for so long, I forgot what it was like to just have a nice, playful day with you. But that's how it's been and it's is so unbelievably wonderful to just play with you and not fight all the time.

River, you are an amazing little boy. I can't imagine a more charming, smarter, more engaging kid than you. I know I'm biased, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I love you so much.

xoxo,
Mommy

Spring Fair

2010-05-29T08:44:00.006-04:00

Last weekend we took River, Finn, and Lila to Parent's Nursery, the preschool River will be attending in the fall. They were holding a Spring Fair with a petting zoo, tons of games, a bake sale, and an auction to raise money for the school. We all had a fantastic time. Here's some pics of our time out:

Lila News: Five Months

2010-05-21T10:35:00.007-04:00

Dear Lila,

Last week your Auntie Jenn visited us here in Cambridge and got to spend some quality snuggle time with you and your cheeks. She's simply in love with you and has vowed to only buy you pink frilly things. I'm happy to indulge her since, quite frankly, I love having a little girl to dress up. I mention your aunt because not only was she here when you turned five months old (AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! FIVE MONTHS!!!), but because she can attest to how different my experience of motherhood has been between you and your brother.

She saw me in my insane new-parent state when River was just a little older than you are now; she saw the hours and hours I spent sequestered in his room, singing and rocking and pleading with him to sleep. She saw me tip-toe out of his room, afraid to squeak the floorboards for fear he would wake; she saw me shush everyone near his room and watch his monitor with eagle eyes - dread on my face when that tale-tell squall eventually came letting us know we were doomed to spend ANOTHER half an hour locked behind closed doors trying to lull him to sleep.

And she has seen you. The first night she was in town we had just sat down to dinner and you gave a little whimper letting us know it was time for your nap. I went into your bedroom, laying you down and giving you a pacifier, and when I returned a minute or two later your Autie Jenn was wide-eyed with wonder. "That's it?" she said. "She's asleep?" And with more pride and gratefulness than I can possibly convey I said, "Yes. That's how Lila rolls."

In this past month you've started sleeping through the night, really sleeping through - from 9pm to 6 or 7am. In fact, at 3 years old your brother is now waking earlier and more often than you. You haven't taken any steps, you can't sit up on your own, and you're still working on rolling over, but when it comes to sleeping you've totally out-paced your brother.

As for River, you are totally in love. I've had to start nursing you in different rooms than him because if he's there you're too busy watching him to focus on eating. The love is mutual and he attacks you with hugs and kisses whenever you enter the room. When you're sad he strokes your head and says, "It's okay, Lila. It's okay." It's rare but there are moments of jealously, times when he wants us to leave you alone so I can keep playing with him. But as soon as you enter the room all is forgotten and you're back to basking in the light of his attention.

You are a little observer, watching the people around you so closely. Sometimes I feel guilty about how much you entertain yourself, chewing on a toy or keeping tabs on me or your dad, but I also feel good that I'm not constantly swinging a toy in your face or teaching you baby signs. In some ways River did (and still does) demand that kind of attention, but you seem perfectly content to watch the world most of the time. Your independence has allowed me to pick up sewing again much sooner than I imagined would be possible, and I spend lots of time working on new projects. You hang out on the playmate or bouncy seat while I make bibs or little shirts. It's an incredible gift to me - to feel like I have more to contribute than just motherhood, to allow me space to create and express myself. I can't thank you enough for that my little Lila Love.

As for milestones you are certainly hitting them. You're very sturdy - able to sit in the bumbo or carrier with nary a head wobble. I think you'll be sitting on your own soon, which will be very exciting for all of us. You grab at anything in front of you and we've had to instill a practice of keeping our drinks and plates out of your reach. You're rolling from back to side really well and a few times you've gotten from your belly to your back (an inelegant little flip flop was involved, but you did it!). You recognize your name and light up whenever I say it, and you've definitely started showing a preference for me over other caretakers. We just started you on solid food and while you seem happy to experiment with it, you are not yet a voracious eater.

Lila Jae, you are my little bumble-butt. You have made our home brighter and happier and you have made me a more mellow mom. There's a lovely balance between the extreme boy energy River brings and the sweet girl energy you have. You give us all the chance for cuddles, quiet reading, and silly-sweet bouncing games. I love you so much.

xoxo,
Mommy

cherry tree

2010-05-11T08:29:00.003-04:00

I have been sewing with an insane focus the past week. I've designed and completed half a dozen bibs (to be sold at a later date), and I was so inspired by the fabric I used on the last one that I had to make this onsie for Lila. She's become my beta tester for all my infant products. Not a bad deal for her, I'd say.

I love the little cherry tree. They're my favorite thing about spring, and seeing this on her makes me smile.

first solids

2010-05-10T21:17:00.003-04:00

Lila tasted her first solid food today, a bit of rice cereal, and seems to already have the knack for eating. She was thrilled to try something new and eagerly grabbed at the spoon to get more food to her mouth. I'm so proud of my little sweetie pie!

sunshine and manicures

2010-05-07T07:06:00.004-04:00

We have had some wonderful weather the last few days, and River, Lila, and I have been soaking it up. I love the way River smells at the end of a long day of playing - like sand, chocolate, and little boy sweat.

I painted my nails on Wednesday and River asked if I would do his too. Here he is, modeling the lovely shade of blue we have on our fingers at the moment.

Our NYC trip (unabridged)

2010-04-27T12:35:00.009-04:00

We took an impromptu trip to New York this weekend, deciding Friday afternoon (about 4 hours before we started driving) to go see the city. We piggy-backed onto the Banks Street Doyles' trip, where Crystal was going to visit her cousins and attend a birthday party for our good friend, Ama. It's been about 5 years since I've been there (though Thom travels for work occasionally), and while I've wanted to go back, any time I thought about the logistics of taking kids to the city it sounded about as enticing as figuring out how to kiss a rattlesnake.

So, quick decision Friday afternoon - with no time to think - and we had a plan. I found a deal on a hotel, booked Broadway tickets for Crystal and I, packed up in the few minutes of time I had between taking care of one kid or the other, and we were off! The drive down was pretty good; we only made two stops - one for dinner, and one for bathroom break/gas. River spent most of the time watching a movie and Lila slept or watched the scenery pass by. Her toughest time was around 8pm, her usual bedtime, when she had been strapped in for almost three hours and she just wanted her own bed. She screamed for about 20 minutes and passed out.

Driving into the city was a bit of a time warp. (I remember taking the same route on the Sarah Lawrence shuttle Saturday mornings; dozens of us crammed into the white van like, well, a bunch of kids desperate to escape our small town campus for a day; I'd watch the SLC student behind the wheel and hold my breath as they navigated the treacherous streets.) It was night as we entered on the west side with towering buildings on one side and old broken-down piers on the other. Even Hoboken across the river managed to look magical.

We got to our hotel and carried our sleeping kids through the crowd of x-ray thin, black-clad hipsters smoking outside the revolving doors. The employees of the Tribeca Grand were so incredibly nice - offering to move our car to a safe spot, bringing up a crib for Lila - I felt like we'd been transported to the Midwest.

After surreptitiously consuming a couple mini-bar beers in the bathroom, chatting quietly so as not to wake the kids, Thom and I joined them in the bedroom and promptly passed out from exhaustion. We got a good night sleep and all were ready to get out and explore the next morning. Thom got an early start and jogged his old path along the Hudson while River watched cartoons, Lila cooed, and I got us all presentable enough to go. We walked down to the water and caught sight of a teeny Statue of Liberty in the distance. After a great breakfast at Bubby's (chosen largely because of the ratio of high chairs to adults) we walked through Soho and picked up an infant carrier for Lila at Giggle (thanks for the recommendation, random mother sitting next to us at Bubby's). Then we passed by 213 6th Avenue, our old 5th floor walk-up, and admired the fantastic shape it's in.

Onto the D train and down to Coney Island to meet up with Banks. River was pretty wiped out by this point so he slept most of the ride. Once we met up with Finn, Uncle Kevin, Auntie Crystal, and her cousins, he perked right up. We spent the rest of the afternoon watching the boys spin around on ridiculously cute kiddie rides. At one point Thom told them not to stick their hands into the water of the boat ride and River spent the next 3 minutes holding Finn's hands and lecturing him about the dangers of putting his fingers in the water. That's our little enforcer. After we'd gotten all we could out of Coney Island, we attempted dinner at Grimaldi's but we had no idea how obscenely popular that place has gotten. Not willing to wait an hour for a table, we walked around the corner and found another place for delicious pizza.

After we got back to the hotel, I gussied up and headed back out to attend Ama's 30 birthday at Von Bar on Bleeker. A good friend who I see about once a year since high school, Ama had no idea I was coming and her reaction was the best part of the trip for me. She had a moment of hesitation as she realized that it was actually her friend Summer standing in front of her, not just someone who looked incredibly similar to her friend Summer. Then she jumped up and screamed, hugged me, screamed again, and hugged me some more. I felt pretty loved.

I had a great time mingling and pretending I was young again. Crystal showed up an hour or so later and we all spent the evening catching up with Ama, dancing, drinking, and meeting new people.

The next morning was slightly rough, but after breakfast in the hotel I felt human again. We were all supposed to meet up with our friend, Ben, for lunch, so we attempted to do the Natural History Museum that morning. Turns out the New York subway system is not that stroller friendly - who'da thunk? So instead of getting there at the 10am opening, we finally rolled in at 11am and we'd pretty much have to turn around and leave to make lunch in Union Square. I decided to go alone and left my amazing, wonderful, hero of a husband with the two kids for the rest of the afternoon. They had a great time and from what I hear River explored the dinosaur rooms for like 3 hours.

I had a wonderful time chatting with Ben, a friend from my Sarah Lawrence days, who's recently back from a trip to India. We had to squeeze a lot of catching up into an hour. Then I headed back on the train to see a matinee of American Idiot with Crystal. She's been a long-time Green Day fan and I love that album, so when I heard they'd made it into a musical I knew we had to go. It was a great show - the music, of course, was fantastic, the staging really interesting, and the storyline pretty strong (considering they were working within the context of an album not written for stage).

After another subway battle, I met up with Thom and the kids, and we got back to the Tribeca Grand and packed up our car to start the long drive home. It was pretty much a repeat of the drive out (River watching movies, Lila doing fine until bedtime) except we were all much more exhausted.

I'd change a few things about attempting a trip like this again (do not bring a bulky stroller on a subway trip, limit activities to 1 or 2 - at most - a day). I think we'll give it a little time, but now that we've done it once successfully I think we'll definitely be bringing the kids back to New York. It's an unbelievable opportunity for our kids and a nice trip down memory lane for the grown ups.

cuteness

2010-04-17T15:59:00.001-04:00

She may have her dad's hair, eyes, and pink skin, but she's totally got my smile.

nice to be home

2010-04-06T12:12:00.004-04:00

Yesterday Lila learned how to roll on her side. In the afternoon, River and I went on a special Mommy-River date to Stellabella's and out for ice cream. Last night River moved down into his big boy room, where he slept the night through. Lila moved into her nursery, where she woke only ONCE! between 8:30pm and 8:30am. Today I've sewn 7 pairs of baby leggings and moved onto a new project for my mom. I'm getting ready to eat some enchiladas for lunch, take a nap before River gets home, and spend the afternoon with my lovely kids.

It's a good day.

Happy Birthday River

2010-04-01T01:09:00.002-04:00

I love you, my amazing boy. I can't believe you're three. I hope you had a wonderful day - I know I did.

Lila's punk rock quilt (is that an oxymoron?)

2010-03-27T09:12:00.005-04:00

I'm pretty happy with my first serious quilting effort. I'm in love with the fabric choices, my blocks came out square and even, and though I didn't do free-motion quilting like I had intended, I like the diagonal lines well enough.

Some details, in case you're interested:

The pattern came from Oh, Franssons! etsy shop. I've been getting invaluable advice and inspiration from her blog (among others I've discovered recently), and I'm pretty excited to be in a real sewing flow.

The quilt is 40" square (perfect for a crib) and alternates five different block styles. All of my fabrics were found on etsy and most come from the Studio E Urban Angel and Essentials lines.

The blanket has a luxurious white dot minky backing, and I used satin blanket edging to bind it instead of the suggested cotton. My grandma says the satin will wear quicker, but it just feels so nice, I had to go with it.

Instead of one of the cute animal appliques suggested, I made two coordinating hearts. I attached them with fabric webbing and then bordered with a blanket stitch. I used an alternating criss-cross design to quilt it, and the stitches go through the top layer and batting only (so the minky is unstitched). And that's pretty much it!

It took me two weeks to cut, sew, quilt, and bind - working in spare minutes here and there (the hour I spent waiting in the Social Security office yesterday was some of my most productive time). I hope Lila likes it; I'd love it if she had tattered scraps of this blanket to take to college with her.

it's done!

2010-03-26T22:26:00.005-04:00

I've been working on a quilt for Lila for the past two weeks and tonight I put the final stitches in. I couldn't take a great picture in this evening light, so I'll post one of the whole quilt tomorrow. In the mean time, eat up these pics of my cuties playing with the unfinished work.

Lila seems to think her new quilt is yummy.

What a sweet big brother...

...who likes to make smooshie faces with his lil sis. (She actually enjoyed this a ton.)

Yup. Those are pink skull and cross bones featured prominently in the quilt.

baby leggings tutorial

2010-03-20T09:00:00.010-04:00

Having a baby girl has opened up all kinds of new fashion options for me, and lately I've been in love with baby legs for adding warmth and color choices to Lila's outfits. They make diaper changes easier, and are just plain cute. I ordered a couple home-made pairs on Etsy, and I was really happy with them, but they looked like something I could easily make myself. I made a few pairs and really liked how they turned out, so I thought I'd share with you how I did it:

Baby Leggings Tutorial

First I bought three pairs of knee-high socks with cute designs. If you want a size that won't fall off a newborn, go with girls' size small. If you want one that will last longer into infancy and toddlerhood go with girls' large or adult sizes. I chose girls' sizes since I knew I'd still get a few months use out of them with Lila being so small.

I would wash the socks first, because your fabric might shrink, but I forgot that step and they've turned out fine for me. If you have a quilting set (rotary cutter and mat) you'll get the most precision, but a ruler and scissors will work fine as well.

Lay your socks out flat and cut right at the heel. If you aren't using a rotary cutter, mark the place you'll be cutting so both socks are cut the same length.

Turn socks inside out, fold the cut edge over, and pin. For these leggings I folded my socks twice so that the hem would be clean, but in later efforts I folded once to add length (after sewing just trim the excess). Both options looked nice.

Here's the tricky part. Hem the socks along the line you've pinned. Make sure you've separated the two layers of fabric so you're not sewing the opening closed. Go slowly, and gently pull the fabric apart as you go. I did a knit stitch for these and a hemstitch for later efforts. Both stitches allow for stretching but I like the look of the hemstitch a little more. Repeat with the other sock and you're done! Here's my finished leggings:

And my beautiful model with happy warm legs:

parenting fail

2010-03-16T07:49:00.003-04:00

It was about an hour after River's bedtime and he still showed no signs of slowing when it dawned on me that he still hadn't adjusted to the time change. He stayed up watching Buffy and eating popcorn with us until 10:15 (perhaps not the smartest decision, considering he immediately started complaining of scary noises in his room once we put him back in bed). I didn't hear the conversation that followed since I was busy brushing my teeth, but it must have gone something along these lines:

River: I'm scared. I want to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed.
Thom: No honey, you should stay in your room.
River: There's scary noises in there. A monster is hiding.
Thom: (looks around room) See, no monsters.
River: No, no. It's hiding in the walls. I want to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed.
Thom: ...
Thom: Okay, but you have to be quiet and go to sleep.
River: Okay! I'm going to sleep with Mommy!

When I walked out of the bathroom, River was on my side of the bed with his bear and Lila was in her snuggle nest between River and Thom. I squeezed in and River did a little rolling around to get himself comfortable. He was pretty precious. I lay there thinking how nice it was to have my whole family in bed together - my little ones snuggled up warm and sweet. Then 1:30am hit and River had wormed his way horizontal, leaving me crammed against Lila's sleeper and my arm asleep in an uncomfortable angle. I got him situated and fell back asleep. Lila then nursed at 2am and 5am and 6am and by 7:30 it pretty much wasn't worth it to stay there with my adorable, squirmy, snoring, snorting angles.

So, note to self: work on adjusting the kids to the time change a few days before it happens, and, no matter how much you want to see it, don't let your kid watch Buffy (the one with the gigantic scary demon battle) just before bed.

River and Lila News: 35 months/12 weeks

2010-03-10T17:03:00.007-05:00

Dear River and Lila,

Is it wrong of me to measure the success of my parenting by how much I get out of the house? By how much you sleep? It feels like my absences from you signify balance in my life, faith that you will be happy without me. Or maybe I'm just neglecting the heck out of you. Either way, I do feel happy. I have been getting out, seeing friends, experiencing the world (more or less), and I don't feel one ounce of guilt for it. Perhaps that's the difference between a first and second-time parent; I can leave you without feeling excruciating pain.

This has come in handy of late since you, River, have started giving up your naps. You fall asleep about every other day, and while you may not need the extra sleep, I'm still waking up at least a couple times before morning to feed your sister and I depend on those moments of peace to function. Without a little down time in the afternoon I turn into a grunting, thrashing Frankenstein. So we've worked out a little compromise: you leave me alone for an hour (if you can't sleep, you read or play by yourself) and I try not to be a gigantic beastie in the afternoon. You're nearly three years old, so while it still tugs at me that you might cause yourself harm or tear down the house, that guilt and worry is not great enough to make me skip my nap.

I suppose there's evidence that you could cause some damage while I sleep. Take an incident from a few weeks ago. You were on a real Tic Tac bend (please don't get me started on how you were even exposed to Tic Tacs), and since they were within your reach on the dining table you were popping them like, well, candy. Before your nap, I put them on top of a 7 ft armoire in the dining room so you couldn't reach them. Silly me to let you see where they were. While I was in my bedroom trying to nap, you started a little project to liberate the Tic Tacs. I could hear a thump, then a few seconds later another one, then another. After about three minutes of listening to you work on something in the dining room I walked out to see you stacking your picture books next to the armoire. I'll admit, I should have worked it out a bit quicker (see above re: sleep deprivation) but it took some probing for me to get it out that you were building yourself a stairway to the Tic Tacs. And you know what I did? Rewarded your cleverness and gave you one. Seriously, if you can engineer your way to something you want, I think that deserves some kind of positive reinforcement. (I may regret that when you've built a time machine in the basement.)

Your ingenuity and cleverness shine through more every day. You are becoming an amazing story teller and have really worked on creating fun scenarios for us to act out. Lots of your story-lines are derived from Richard Scarry books (whose work sometimes make me want to gouge my eyes out, but hey, you love him), and you want us to be firemen or bakers or underwater robots (a River original plotline). You pretty much always have a plan for what games we could play, what activities to do. A few years from now you're going to have a little playground entourage of kids who follow you around and do your bidding. All the other kids will probably find you incredibly bossy and annoying. But that's the price of leadership, I suppose.

As for your language, I can't even say it's "developing" anymore. It's pretty well developed. You grasp so much and your father and I have no need to talk down to you or use small words. If you don't understand a word, you ask what it means. Most of the time you can then use it yourself. Aside from your vocabulary, your syntax is so adult. It's clear that you mimic the way dad and I talk and it makes me crack up when you bust out with, "I sure do like these grapes," or, "So how's it going, uncle Kevin?" You still have a few quirks, but they're fading. I'll be so sad when you no longer say "got-for" instead of "forgot" and "rec-T" instead of "T-Rex." Please stay my little boy a little longer, okay?

And Lila. You are amazing. I couldn't imagine an easier, happier baby. River and I drag you around to playdates, museums, yoga and art classes, and you just take it all in stride. You nap, eat, and play on the road and it doesn't - yet - seem to be a problem.

You like to watch what's going on, and increasingly you like to be held in an upright position. Your neck muscles are getting really strong and soon we'll be able to put you in the bumbo chair where you'll be able to sit up on your own and see the whole room. You still love to watch your brother and, other than a strange fascination with licking your face, he treats you like a princess.

You've started grabbing for toys and you love a good crinkle or bell. You can get objects to your mouth - a washcloth, octopus toy, or your fingers - and you suck away happily. You already have a favorite stuffed animal - a little bear blankie that you smile at and hug close. It pretty much kills me with cuteness. Your eye contact is great, and you give me the most amazing smiles when you first wake up. You love it when I get real close and make google eyes at you and talk silly nonsense. But you don't need constant stimulation. You're great about entertaining yourself, and you've given me ample time to sew and work on craft projects.

We've worked out your evening feeding schedule - it involves a bottle, an early bedtime, and me pumping some - and it seems to be making everyone happy right now. You still sleep incredibly well, and if I nurse you just before I go to sleep you'll sometimes stay down until 5am. To friends without parents that doesn't sound so great, but let me tell you, you would win the gold medal for baby sleep.

You guys are rocking my world right now. I love you both so much and I feel so lucky to be your mom.

xoxoxoxo,
Mommy

Happy Birthday to my man (and lots of other random stuff)

2010-03-06T13:24:00.009-05:00

Thirty-seven years ago today, the most amazing man was born. I feel extraordinarily lucky to call him my husband, and I hope we can be together to celebrate another 100 birthdays.

We spent the morning sleeping in (okay, Thom slept in and I got up to turn on cartoons for River and finsh making a cake). It's a chocolate cake with oreo cream filling and chocolate butter cream icing I made from scratch. Been a while since I was this ambitious in the kitchen and I think it will taste great.

After breakfast (egg sandwiches from Petsi Pies) the boys went outside to play while I put the finishing touches on the cake. Then Lila and I joined them. We played pirates who own a paper company and River ran the wood chipper. As you can see, Lila was a totally awesome pirate.

Thom's present from the kids was this painting (they did the feet, I did the heart).

His folks sent some fun T-shirts. The packaging was pretty out of control:

Last night we ventured out to our friend Jonathan's art show at the University Place Gallery. It was quite a lovely party - a beautiful quartet playing and lots of fancy people mingling. Jonathan's work is fantastic and whimsical and he sold three pieces. It was great to see him again after so long.

We took the Banks Street Doyles with us, then followed up with dinner at Fire and Ice. With mobs of people, crazy-hungry-overstimulated boys, and really poor service, it was a dinner not to repeat. I think we've discovered our Friday night ritual of delivery pizza and a rented movie is just perfect.

Tonight the kids will stay home with Megan and the grown-ups get to go out. I think cocktails and a mad hatter will be involved. But for now, River has skipped his nap and Lila's pudgy cheeks are calling to me. Hope you're all having as nice a Saturday as me.

I can make more than just babies

2010-02-23T10:52:00.007-05:00

It all started with some shelves.

I take that back. It started with our sitter. We hired Megan last fall and after falling in love with her she lost her housing and was considering moving back to Oregon. Desperate to not have to break in a new sitter just as the baby was coming into our home, we offered to let her live in our spare room. It's all worked out better than we could have imagined, but that's a story for another time.

The point I was getting to is we had to make some changes to that spare room. One of them was taking out a massive shelf full of books and clearing off a second shelf for her to use. We moved those books to the library/craft room where most of our other books were, and while piles of disorganized books crowding the space certainly made us look well-read, it was not exactly the decorating choice I preferred.

So we got new shelves. I loved them, but they needed book ends. After researching metal book ends and finding nothing I liked, I came across an Etsy shop that sold fabric book ends and I thought - Hey, I can do that! Thus, it started with shelves.

I sewed a dozen book ends out of fabric that was just waiting for a project like this and filled them with rice. Once I got them set up and the books organized, I was totally caught by the crafting bug. So the next weekend I followed up that project by making a table runner.

I've experimented with quilting before and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. But the wavy edges tells me I should actually read a book and learn how you're supposed to quilt instead of just making it up on my own.

After two weekends spent in creative mode, I seemed to be in a rhythm, so I followed that project with one for Lila. I was inspired by this tutorial on making cloth blocks for babies and embarked on that project next. I'm pretty much in love with how they've turned out. There are tags on the sides and they're embroidered with ABC and 123. The second block has a bell and the third has crinkle material inside.

Lila has already shown an interest in them and she's even tried to grab at one.

I'm loving being in the creative mode (which was most likely the inspiration for my new hair color). I'm making things all the time; from journaling, to sewing, to cooking every night. It's a good place for me. I'm not quite ready to go back into crafting as a business, but these are certainly the first steps.

out of tune, with love

2010-02-17T13:38:00.005-05:00

Today is the 64th birthday of Julie Doyle, River and Lila's paternal grandmother, otherwise known as Oma. Thom put together this video as her present. I think he had to sift through 50 hours of footage of River and Finn fighting to get these 4 minutes of cute. Still, that hand holding scene is incredible...

Double click the video to get the full screen version

drop that bottle!

2010-02-10T13:37:00.004-05:00

On Monday I take River to the indoor playground in Watertown so he can get some wiggles out and I can escape the house for a while. Lila has a runny nose and cough, and being carried in the ergro keeps her upright and her nose cleared, so that's where she stays for most of the trip. When she wakes up a few hours in, I feed her and let her have a little playtime out of the carrier. We find this cute toy hanger-thingy (what the heck is that called?) and I set her down. She loves her playmat at home and this is no different.

After a minute a little girl (pictured) comes over to us carrying a bottle full of milk and, almost before I can stop her, shoves the bottle into Lila's face, saying, "Oh, that's a baby. She needs milk!" Horrified as I am to see some unknown bottle of formula? breastmilk? contaminated goat drippings? hurling toward my little girl's face, I feel very proud of myself for not physically tossing that little harbinger of germs away from my daughter. I explain, that, No, she doesn't need any milk. You should keep if for yourself, in a voice that sounds reasonable enough to me, but probably has more than a little bite to it.

The little girl tells me that the bottle isn't hers, and with a bit more prodding I discover she just found it somewhere and thought the best place for it was my daughter's mouth. My first thought is who is taking care of this child and why are they letting her pilfer some poor baby's bottle? My next thought is where the hell is this person and why are they letting her shove said bottle in my baby's face?! I look around but can't see anyone in the immediate vicinity who looks like they're with little miss milkmaid. I can't even see anyone glancing in her direction to keep an eye on her.

I ask the little girl who she's there with but she can't give a straight answer. She starts to bring toys over to Lila, which is a sweet gesture, but I'm so annoyed by the person not watching this girl I'm having a hard time mustering a smile. The last straw finally comes when a gigantic booger slips out of her nose and she wipes it with her hand then reaches down for another toy to hand Lila. And that's it for me. I can't pretend to be nice to her anymore, I can't take on the duties of nanny when I've got two of my own already (did I mention River is taking this opportunity of mommy's distraction to drop the hanging toys onto Lila's face?). I gently suggest she go find a tissue while my brain is screaming something with a few more four letter words in it.

And off she runs, as sweet as can be, to the woman 30 feet away who has been on her cell phone looking in the other direction the entire time.Cell Phone Lady doesn't smile at the girl, or help her with her nose. She just shoos the girl away to play in another room and goes back to her call.

I'm disgusted with myself for not being nicer when that girl is obviously just looking for someone to play with. But don't get me wrong: I'm infinitely more disgusted with the woman (mommy or sitter) who isn't taking care of that little girl. It's something I see often, but it doesn't get any easier. It still makes me want to punch that neglectful asshole in the face.

Breathe, momma bear. Breathe.

River and Lila News: 34 months/7 weeks

2010-02-02T11:54:00.008-05:00

Dear River and Lila,

I can't believe how lucky I am. All the fears I had about how difficult it would be to have two kids have dissipated. I feel happy. And complete. That's not to say this parenting thing is easy. Lila you are still an infant, and River, you are most definitely a toddler. I juggle a lot and feel pulled in about 50 different directions all day, but I am not frantic. I'm not sad or overwhelmed. I feel like a mom who has her stuff reasonably well together.

Lila, you are a wonder. Where River can be prickly, hard-edged, and so intense, you are soft and yielding and quiet. You are a deep, slow breath. Where River has a ferocious desired to know, to do, to be, you are content to sit back and observe. You take the world in at your own steady pace.

I know we - your mom and dad - can take a small amount of credit for your contentment, but I think we will see in years to come that it is simply your nature to be easy-going, that you have taken on the role of zen master in this house of high-strung neurotics.

In general you are incredibly easy to make happy. If you are fed, dry, and well-rested the world is grand. You will sit contentedly on your playmat or in your bouncy chair watching the action or flirting with your brother. You have smiles for River like no other and you watch him as he moves around the room.

In the first few weeks of your life, the most difficult part of my day was the evening when you would be desperate to nurse for hours and hours. But even that wasn't so hard - I'd sit reading a book, watching TV, or just staring into your beautiful face while you comforted yourself. Slowly you eased off the boob and now you sleep a bit between nursing sessions in the evening and don't exhibit that frantic need anymore.

You still sleep A LOT. You take a long morning nap, play a little at lunch, and nap again all afternoon. I forgot how much infants sleep - I mean aren't you missing out on valuable crying time? Your dad and I have talked about how maybe you aren't as alert and engaged in the world as your brother was, and maybe you don't have the strength he did at your age, but you have the best thing we could have asked for: YOU SLEEP. You sleep for a 4 or 6 hour chunk before your first nighttime feeding, then you go right back down. I don't have to fight you, I don't have to think of 50 ways to calm you. You nurse, get comfy in your swaddle, get a pacifier and the noise machine, and you are out. It is the best present any parent could get.

You are a voracious eater and have gained nearly three pounds and 2 inches since you were born. Like your brother, you have a massive capacity for spit up, and I can count on you drenching me at least once every other day. You have gorgeous red hair and beautiful blue eyes, and you're building pudge like a walrus. I love that you're spending more time alert these days - the eye contact you make, the smiles you give me melt my heart. You're starting to coo just a little bit and I think soon you'll recognize that you have hands. You are everything I could ask for in a little girl. Just perfect.

As for you, River, you are an amazing big brother. You are so gentle with Lila, so patient when we need to give her attention, and so proud to show her off to your friends. I was afraid you would be too rough with her or resent all the time she gets with mom and dad, but you have been such an absolute champ.

I try not to make comparisons between you and your sister, but it's impossible not to - you are simply such different creatures. When we named you, your dad and I imagined a peaceful brook, a winding stream where one might go to philosophize or toss stones. You, River, are not a quiet creek. You are raging rapids, tumultuous white waters broken by cracked and spiky boulders. You are fun and spontaneous, smart and inventive, but you are not easy to navigate. Your toddler days are like the waterfall at the end of that wild river, and your dad and I are paddling as hard as we can to keep from being pulled down into the deep.

Let me give you a picture from a typical day: one afternoon you woke from your nap in a particularly nasty mood. You called out for me, but when I came you didn't want me there. You called out for daddy with the same results. You wanted nap to be done, but you didn't know what you wanted in its place. You wanted to play but you didn't want out of your crib. You turned down everything we offered, and when we gave you some more time to wake up and sort yourself out, you were upset we weren't sticking around. This went on for about 20 minutes. At one point I offered to lift you out of your crib again, and you said, "No I don't want to!" Very calmly and gently I replied, "Don't worry, honey, we're not going to make you do anything you don't want to." To which you responded, "NO! You can't say that!"

That's you in a nutshell, little man.

It's hard being two going on three. You're like a teenager: thinking you know everything there is to know and having to put up with parents who are so dumb and so cruel. I know these day won't last, but they're tough on all of us. You're a fighter, River, and one day those traits that make you so hard to live with as a toddler will make you such an amazing man. You will stand up for yourself and your beliefs. You will be creative and confident. You will have a determination I can only imagine. I am so proud of you, and while raising you isn't an easy task, it is an infinitely rewarding one.

I love you both, my little dears. You are each in your own way just what I always wanted.

Mommy

welcome to the jungle

2010-01-13T15:50:00.004-05:00

I finally had one of those mornings I've been dreading all along. I started the day off right by walking into River's room and unknowingly WAKING HIM UP. What the hell? The first rule of parenting is: Do Not Wake A Sleeping Child. We'd had a long night before (River screaming, Lila screaming, mommy and daddy weeping into our vodka glasses), so I shouldn't have been surprised he slept in late. But it was past 8am and I couldn't imagine he'd still be in the crib when I walked into the nursery to change Lila's diaper (yes, he's still sleeping in there in protest of the monsters that live in his bedroom). So I flip on the light and set Lila on the changing table when I hear a very frustrated little boy yell, "Mommy don't!" behind me and that set the stage for a morning of chaos and fussiness.

Thom had to leave for work shortly thereafter, and River wanted to play with trucks, so I took the two kids down to his room. We spent an hour and a half in there and I swear he spent the entire time planning what he would do with his trucks, but never actually got to the playing. Meanwhile I'm looking at the clicking clock, thinking about the Christmas packages I have to take to the post office today (yes, you read that correctly), the dwindling time River's got to be outside, and the tantrum he's going to have when I have to drag him back home for his nap before he's ready. I finally manage to pull him away from the non-play downstairs and shuffle him and Lila upstairs to get ready to face the cold.

I get a diaper bag packed and sit him on the potty; I check my face - decide make-up isn't worth the time - and River finishes his business (I kid you not) 15 minutes later. Meanwhile Lila wakes up hungry and proceeds to nurse, spit up, poop, and nurse some more. I have a protracted argument with River about the necessity of bringing 2 sippy cups with us (but mom, I need this orange one with old water and I need this orange one with new water), wrestle both kids into snow gear, and get out the door two and a half hours after we woke up.

River does an awesome job at the post office and I promise him a trip to StellaBella Toys as a reward only to discover that they're opening late due to inventory. I try to explain why my toddler can't have the special treat he's been promised and officially enter the third level of hell. We go next door to S&S for an early lunch (and a hot chocolate bribe) and River spends the entire time telling me he's going to stay there and wait for StellaBella to open. In spite of my protests that, No, he will need a nap before then and we can't stay at the diner playing with sugar packets for two hours, he does not hear the voice of reason. We eat (he ignores his sandwich in favor of french fries), I wrestle the snow gear back on, and drag him out the door while toting a very agreeable Lila in the Ergo. We get back to the house, spend another half an hour not-playing with trucks, and he pitches a screaming fit at nap time because he didn't get to not-play long enough. After refusing books, songs, and stories three times I shut him in the nursery and let him cry himself to sleep.

Thus endeth my fantastic morning. (The really funny thing is so little of the drama was caused by Lila I can't blame it on having two kids. The toddler seemed to manage the chaos just fine on his own.)

cuteness

2010-01-10T18:24:00.002-05:00

two weeks later and still in my pajamas

2009-12-30T13:21:00.006-05:00

I have officially been a mother of two for 16 days and I can only imagine things going better if I had a 24 hour on-call masseuse and a private Ben and Jerry's store in my basement. This is largely due to the fact that Thom's parents were here for a week and a half of toddler wrangling, and now Thom has a whole week off from work to pick up the slack.

Oh yes, we've had meltdowns and tantrums, we've had blowouts and projectile vomiting, we've had little sleep and less downtime... BUT, we've also had lots of laughs, lots of snuggles, and lots of time together relishing our new family.

Lila is proving to be an exceptionally easy baby to read. She's simple in her needs: feed me, change me, burp me, get me to sleep. If I can accomplish those things, she's a blissful little girl. The biggest challenges right now are feeding her as much as she wants (she likes to nurse pretty much nonstop from 8pm to 11pm) and holding her as much as she likes. Thom takes care of River's bedtime so I can do the evening feed, and the Ergo helps me hold her without giving up use of my arms completely. Even though it seems like a lot, if I think back to how much I held River during the first months of his life, I'm not spending a fraction of that time on Lila. I'm much more willing to put her down and let her entertain herself than I was with River. I don't go rushing in to rescue her from every snort and sigh, and consequently, she's learning to soothe herself much more readily. Some might read that and think I'm short-changing my second child, but I think she will be so much better off with the skills she learning. She will be better adjusted and, just as importantly, she will have a better adjusted mommy.

River has had some tough times this month, but I think it has to do more with his fatigue of company and less with Lila. By the end of their trip, Thom's parents had endured some pretty snotty behavior from the kid - telling them he didn't want their help, wasn't going to talk to them, wasn't going to do what they said. His need for mommy and daddy was intense, and now that Thom's had some time off, River seems happier. His biggest jealousy issue is that Lila gets to sleep in our room and he doesn't. We tried to let him stay in our bed one night this week and it was pretty much a disaster. After Lila's first feeding in the middle of the night, he was awake for another two hours telling us he thought it was wake-up time. Needless to say it is an experiment we will not be repeating.

Aside from having Thom around, another thing taking the pressure off right now is the generous preparation of meals that my friends are doing. About a dozen of the women from my moms' group have taken it upon themselves to cook a meal for us over the next few weeks. It is such a load off knowing we have dinner covered every other day (and can often stretch the leftovers even further), and I am so thankful for their wonderful gift to us.

And speaking of gifts, the best Christmas present we've received this year is the work grandmas Janie and Julie did to POTTY TRAIN RIVER! Yes, that boy is now officially peeing on the potty entirely during the day. He's still in diapers for nighttime, but he's totally in undies once he wakes up. We've had quite a few days without any accidents, and I am so proud of him (and so amazed that it happened right in the midst of a new baby coming). It's pretty much the last thing I thought would happen this month.

Finally, I have to brag just a little because I was shocked to discover yesterday that I have already lost the "baby weight" (this, in spite of the fact that I'm eating anything and everything I can get my hands on). That doesn't mean my shape is anywhere near where I want it to be (my Wii trainer says I'm still fat), but between eating pretty healthy during the pregnancy, burning up calories nursing, and chasing after two kids, I'm 4 lbs lighter than when I got pregnant. Whoo hoo! I went shopping for some non-pregnancy clothes yesterday and was so pleasantly surprised at the sizes I fit into. I think it's a good start for the new year, and I'm hoping to follow through with better eating and work-out habits.

Once Thom goes back to work next week, I know it's going to be rough adjusting to parenting solo most of the time. Our sitter will take some pressure off, but it's nothing compared to having two full-time parents around. I hope I can carry some of the calm and confidence I have right now into the coming months. I would love nothing more than to be this relaxed and happy all the time.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T15:51:00.003-05:00

check the awesome hair

2009-12-20T22:44:00.002-05:00

Tante Crystal and Oma went shopping so Lila has some great new girly clothes. I love the polka dot onsie and bed head.

little squeeker

2009-12-18T14:20:00.005-05:00

Here we are at day four and things just couldn't be going better. River is totally smitten with his sister and is always demanding his turn to hold her. He's been acting out with the grown-ups in his life but has shown no resentment or anger toward Lila (well, except one passing comment about putting her on the stove, but I'd say that's to be expected of a two year old).

Lila is a fantastic eater and an amazing sleeper. We've had two nights in a row where she's slept for chunks of 4 hours at a time. I know it can't possibly last, but I'll take the rest while I can get it. She's generally very mellow and content to nurse or sit in someone's arms. She likes to be near warm bodies and squeaks like a mouse when she's lonely. She wails like a banshee when she's hungry or getting changed, and she manages to spit up on whatever outfit we put her in seconds after.

Lila's daddy is so obviously in love. He had to be out of town one night this week and when he got home he held her for hours just staring at her. That stupid grin on his face made me fall in love with him all over again.

So far life as a second-time parent is much easier. We're calmer and she seems calmer (I love my River but that kid is demanding!). I feel incredibly blessed right now.

family of four

2009-12-15T13:16:00.004-05:00

Welcome Lila Jae Doyle! Born at home on December 14, 1:38am. She's a healthy 7 lbs and already has us wrapped around her very little fingers.

things that are difficult about being 41 weeks pregnant

2009-12-11T05:46:00.002-05:00

Beginning every conversation with, "No, I haven't had a the baby yet."
Following up with, "I have no idea when. It's not up to me."
Thinking about the fact that my dad leaves in two days and probably won't get to meet this grand-baby for another three months
Feeling River get more and more clingy as he senses the approaching changes in our family
Staying awake for hours in the middle of the night willing myself to have a contraction
Knowing there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of this

Physically I feel great. It's not easy to get up from a sitting position and I waddle like a duck, but other than that my body feels like it was made to be pregnant. The baby continues to move regularly, my appetite is good, and according to the midwife all my physical stats are great. I'm just so desperate for this stage to be over. I want nothing more to meet my new little one and start on this journey with our new, whole, complete family.

I'm resigned to waiting, but I'm not happy about it.

And we're off...

2009-12-02T16:15:00.002-05:00

Last night I woke up with some light, intermittent contractions and had the urge to get up and cook a giant pot of chili at 1am (I don't scrub toilets, my nesting instincts lead me straight to food). Needless to say, I think I'm in the early stages of labor. River took days and days to arrive from the start of my first contractions and since they've been so slow today, I won't be surprised if we don't see Sweet Pea for a few days yet.

But things are moving, and that makes me very happy. Wish us luck in the hours and days ahead!

still here...

2009-11-25T13:34:00.003-05:00

...and rocking a ginormous belly. Looks like we'll probably make it to Thanksgiving, which is good because the fridge is stocked and I'm not eating all those cranberries by myself.

McRevelations

2009-11-18T18:57:00.004-05:00

River took off the "i" key on my laptop this morning, and while Thom was able to stick it back on, it doesn't engage unless I slam down on it, so the following sentence looked like this the first time around:

Rver took off the " " key on my laptop ths mornng, and whle Thom was able to stck t back on, t doesn't engage unless slam down on t....

You get the I-dea. It's pretty much a pain in the ass. Thanks, kid.

But that's not what I'm really here to write about. I'm not sure what I'm going to write about, but MY GOD THERE ARE A LOT OF "I"S IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!

I'm 37.5 weeks pregnant and I had a little epiphany in McDonald's the other day. What was I doing in that greasy heart attack pit? Well, lately this baby has been making me eat copious, crazy amounts of food, and since it's hard to make handmade, healthy, organic fair 53 meals a day, I've been indulging. Maybe it's because River hadn't thrown a fit yet that morning, or some new hormones kicking in, or I was just overjoyed by the fried goodness of Mchash Mcbrowns, but I suddenly realized that I was ready for this baby to come.

Don't get me wrong - we fully intended to have a new child when Sweet Pea was concieved, but a theoretical new child is really different from adding a real-live squirmy, poopy, attention-sucking adorable little munchkin to your life. And up until that beautiful moment - sitting under a gigantic billboard for Mcfish sandwiches - I was feeling a more-than-vague sense of panic should my body choose THIS moment to go into labor.

But no more. Come what may, we will be ready. So the birth tub's not set up? So be it. I'll have the baby in the bed. My parents aren't in town yet? We'll make due until they get here. We're supposed to be hosting Thanksgiving? Well, what's better than setting a place for one more?

I feel good. And prepared. And huge and hungry all the time, but what's new?

I guess I haven't talked about the fact that we're planning a home birth (and that's a subject for an entirely different post), but knowing that the baby has made it to full gestation and I won't be forced into a hospital should I go into labor adds considerably to my sense of well-being.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. It's a pretty good place to be.

color contest: I'm in!

2009-11-11T16:36:00.004-05:00

Every time I enter a contest on Ohdeedoh, I have to wait forever to find out if I got in or not. Just about the time I assume it's hopeless and I didn't make it in, I do a last check, and there I am! That was my nice surprise for today, and it couldn't have come at a better time; I'm sitting home sick and needed something to cheer me up.

I'd love to make a good showing, especially since I've worked so hard to make it a wonderful room for my little pookers, so if you have a chance, go HERE and give me a thumbs up. Voting to get me in the finals only lasts for 48hrs, so if you think you might do it, don't wait.

nursery

2009-11-07T12:51:00.003-05:00

After a year of tinkering the nursery is finally complete. I hung the curtains yesterday, did a little staging, and took some pictures to enter into a contest. If I get in I'll let you know how to vote for me. River took a step back from his big boy bed, so he's still enjoying this room. Hopefully he'll be ready to transition back before too long. Here's the final look:

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T21:21:00.005-04:00

We had a lovely, sugar-filled day today. It started out with jumping in the leaf piles, followed by pumpkin carving, a viewing of my friend Jonathan's very gory horror movie (just me), and closed with a great first Trick-or-Treat outing. Here are some photos of our adventures:

River had a great time in our massive pile of leaves. He kept picking up huge armfuls to add to the pile then leaping in.

Thom's great "Bruce" from Finding Nemo.

I did the scary Jack and Thom carved the Alien at River's request.

Banks Street Doyles in their Cat In the Hat tribute.

The Doyle Monsters. This is the best group shot I have; though it's blurry, you can see I did manage to make our coordinating outfits in time.

The boys were so psyched to head out on their first candy run.

They got the whole routine down pretty fast. No freak-outs, no crying. I was very proud of them.

Handing out candy at the end of the night. You can just see the hint of River's chocolate mustache. And of course the evening ended with the expected sugar-high/massive crash.

Hope you all had some great adventures!

fall adventures

2009-10-25T09:09:00.005-04:00

After what feels like an eternity, we have a new babysitter! Twelve hours of my week have been freed up for me to luxuriate in things like assembling baby furniture, grocery shopping, finding xmas presents, sewing Halloween costumes, and oh yes, perhaps blogging. I'm not using the time to get pedicures or massages, but if you have ever tried to go to Whole Foods with a toddler you'll understand how a trip there alone feels just as good as a day at the spa.

I'm not making any promises about blogging more often, but I can say that I don't constantly feel the crushing weight of the world on my shoulders at current, so my mind is certainly in the right place.

First up, I'd like to share some pics with you from the past month:

Here's River enjoying the bounty from our day at the pumpkin patch. Our upstairs neighbors happened to go the same day, so we had quite a haul in front of our house.

Visual proof that I am indeed pregnant. I'm about 28 weeks here (34 now), and the bump is significantly bigger and heavier. The little squirmer is moving all the time and gets the cutest hick-ups. Aside from the waddle, I'm loving this pregnancy.

Daddy doing the work of carving while River practices on his bike. It was an extremely cold day, so Thom made quick work of that pumpkin.

Attaching the pattern. We bought this kit that let you put colored pegs into the pumpkin, essentially turning it into a giant light bright.

The finished product!

The tree in front of our house in all shades of red, orange, yellow, and green. Here you go mom - not as stunning as last year, but it sure is pretty.

River's custom-made monster costume. The specs I had to work with (per River): Dark blue, light blue, and orange with 5 eyes and 5 arms. I took some liberties, but I think I stayed pretty close to his vision. Now I just have to make matching ones for Thom and I.

to the asswipe who cut me in line at the coffee shop today...

2009-10-13T14:18:00.005-04:00

Hello there,

You may remember me from this morning. I was the pregnant lady struggling through the cafe entrance with my toddler, who so kindly held the door open for you behind me. You were the guy who let me stand there long past the point of comfort because you were too lazy to reach out an arm and catch the door for yourself. I was that same lady approaching the counter who you squeezed passed with a brisk, "Excuse me," on what I assumed was an urgent mission to the bathroom or a coveted table. Little did I know you were just trying to get ahead of us in line.

Thanks so much. Maybe it didn't look like I had rushed out of the house before having my breakfast and coffee, or that I had woken and dressed my son in minutes so my car wouldn't be towed away on street cleaning day, or that the two of us could possibly make an order quick enough to get you to the front of the line in your due turn. Let me assure you, you were wrong on all counts.

You see, I was a bit flabbergasted and certain such rudeness would be explained by some other pressing circumstances (a double-parked car? running late to work?), but the fact that you followed your coffee order by jabbering at the barista for five minutes about the false rumor of a stolen tip jar makes me believe you weren't actually in any kind of rush. In fact, I feel safe assuming you're just a scumbag without manners who takes any opportunity to screw someone else over for your own advantage.

In spite of all this, I want to assure you that you didn't ruin my morning. I'm growing increasingly accustomed to dealing with Mass-holes on a regular basis, so you probably don't even hold the title spot of d*cks I'll run into today. My son and I did get our coffee, juice, and muffin quickly thereafter, and we enjoyed the food and company immensely.

I hope you enjoyed your coffee. I also hope you found yourself in desperate need of relieving yourself and no bathroom in sight.

Good Day,
The Woman You Cut Off

you can come visit again, mom, the closet is ready

2009-10-04T22:29:00.004-04:00

After fretting about it for a year, I have finally gathered the courage to clean out my linen closet. I know, I know, earth-shattering stuff, but I am seriously proud right now. I had a rough day yesterday (up at 4:30am, worked on projects all morning, threw my hip out, didn't get to nap, dead tired by the end of the day).

Today was so much better. I slept in, woke to my boys making pancakes, then spent the rare morning alone(!) while Thom took River to the park. I suppose there were more exciting ways to spend a free morning, but clean sheets, folded blankets, and medicines neatly organized in that beautiful closet make me feel like I spent the morning at the spa.

my craptastic re-entry to the blog

2009-09-20T21:10:00.003-04:00

Today was unusually rough. River woke at 6:30am and though it was nice that he just hopped into bed with us (instead of us having to drag ourselves out before sunrise on a Sunday morning), it was still too early to get going.

We started out productively with a trip to a diner and Home Depot, then got right to work on projects around the house. I'm not sure what gave me a bug up my ass to paint the brick supports in the basement TODAY but that's what I wanted to do. Once I got started on that (and Thom worked on the yard, somewhat successfully entertaining River at the same time), I decided we might as well paint an accent wall too. Five coats of velvet red later and that damn wall still isn't covered.

Between the weeding, painting, laundry, raking, and cleaning up River did not get a lot of attention today. I know he's not used to entertaining himself for more than ten minutes at a time, but is it too much to ask for one day where I am not his personal trained monkey? Because of the extraordinary neglect he was feeling he started lashing out like a crazy person, turning every little thing into a battle.

He refused lunch, then cried for twenty minutes at naptime when I told him, sorry, the pizza was in daddy's belly, he missed that train. He dropped chips on the floor and laughed at the mess, spit (not spilled, SPIT) milk on the phone then the couch, banged on his daddy's computer, then mine, and generally fought every move we made from dinner to bedtime. It was like he was aiming for the time-out record of the world.

By the time we got to bath Thom and I were snapping at each other, River was delirious with exhaustion, and I couldn't face reading stories to him without breaking down in tears. Not a pretty picture. I know pregnancy has a lot to do with the extreme emotional reaction, but it's not everything.

I need a sitter and some time for myself. I need to take it a little easy. I need to do something that has nothing to do with the house, the child, the pets, the shopping, or the car. Mostly, right now, I need to go to bed and press Reset on this day.

Infinitely Happy

2009-08-31T07:31:00.003-04:00

Let's do a little evaluation... Six years ago today I was waking up in the JW Marriott, celebrating a post-wedding brunch, and getting ready to board a plane to Fiji with my new husband. I was slightly younger, quite a bit lighter, a tad more naive, and infinitely happy.

Today I wake up with my industrious man doing yoga down the hall, feeling grateful for the 9 hours of sleep I got and the cup of coffee ready in the kitchen. My little boy is (blessedly) sleeping in downstairs, and my baby is doing good-morning stretches in my belly. There are legos and picture books at my feet, and my thoughts are on the errands to run and playgrounds to visit today. I'm 30 years old, I'm a mommy, and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

Tonight I will have a quiet dinner out with my husband where the conversation will mostly be about River and the new baby to come. Neither of us will feel anything but happy about this.

We won't have the time (or, in my case, ability) to indulge in an evening of endless cocktails, but we'll be doing what we always do: talking about our lives, our dreams, our partnership. We'll be thinking about what we're doing right and what we could be doing to make things better. We'll listen to each other. We'll support and inspire each other. We'll laugh and conspire.

My life is busier and harder than I imagined it would be. But it's so much richer. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to have married a man who so perfectly fits me. Thank you, Thom, for sharing these six years with me (and for putting up with the woman who accidentally taught your son to say "dickwad").