My Little River Biver Butt,
Boy, what a month! It seems like you've grown exponentially--both physically and mentally. You're out of your newborn clothes and into the 3 and 6 month sizes. Combine that with your great muscle strength and I keep telling your father you're going to be a linebacker. I can just see you at three years old, towering over me and bossing me around. "Hey, puny mommy--give me some cookies!"
Your neck is so strong now I almost never have to support your head, and you love to practice standing on your strong little legs. Your expression during these sessions seems to say, "Holy crap! Look at what I'm doing! Can you believe how awesome I am?!" Yes, my darling, you are super awesome.
You've started to discover your hands and almost have the ability to get them into your mouth where you want them. Between the breast, my finger, and the pacifier you have such a high sucking need, I'll be really glad when you can do a bit of self-soothing. It will mean fewer interruptions during your naps and better sleep for all of us.
The greatest physical milestone, I think, is that you've learned to roll on your side. It's really the beginning of the end. Soon you'll roll all the way over, then you'll be able to crawl, and finally walk. Before I know it you'll be driving around town and heading off to college. Then I'll only get to see you on holidays and that random weekend you come home to do your laundry and oh my gosh why don't you ever call your mother?!
I suppose I have a little while before I have to worry about that. Right now, I am your whole world (okay, your daddy is in there too).
My favorite part of the day is when we first wake up; I lift up your pudgy, warm, limp little body and breathe in your beautiful baby smell and feel you curl up against me. Then, when I get ready to feed you--oh wow that's the boob and I'm going to eat!--you light up with the most beautiful smile and everything is perfect. Eating is great fun for you, but it can also be a bit perilous. One day when I was very full after a long night you were nursing and slipped off my breast while my attention was elsewhere. When I looked down, there was a fountain of milk shooting straight into your eye! Projectile milk: it's my new superpower!
Mornings are really great. You're awake and happy to greet the world and so excited to discover new things. I broke down and bought a big bright activity mat that you play on, and I have mixed feelings about the fact that you love it so much. How can I be a good hippy mommy and a consumer of baby crap at the same time? I'm trying to keep the loud, plastic toys to a minimum, but here you are smiling and dancing at the blinking, singing star. Well, if it makes you happy...
Honestly, the toys we've bought or have been given are only a small fraction of what you're discovering. You love to explore faces and smile and coo at the funny ones your daddy and I make.
(And you make your own fare share of funny faces too.) You like picture frames and windows and clothing with patterns on it. You love the canopy over our bed and the pretty dangly chandelier.
Christine or your auntie Crystal come over to help me a couple hours a day, so I can shower or shop or do some laundry. We take long walks--around the river or to the park--and you usually nap through them. The stroller is like an instant sleep machine, so I get some quiet time and good exercise. I'm starting to feel like my old self, though not entirely healed. I'm thrilled to get back into yoga, and I take a couple classes a week. We even did a Mommy and Me Class which you really enjoyed.
It's a slow process, but I'm feeling some of my independence return. Weekends are really nice because we have your daddy around.
This month I've pampered myself with a mani/pedi and clothes shopping and your dad and I have even gone out for a couple movies. When I take care of me I'm a better, more patient mommy for you.
Evenings are the hardest part of the day for you. By the time your dad comes home you've had a long, stimulating day and you're tired but don't want to sleep. You fuss for a while, but finally we can get you down around eight or nine. Sometimes your daddy draws a nice bath for the two of you to share, to help wind you down, and you just love the water. You float and splash and smile for the longest time. You seem so relaxed in the water and I always think about the amazing way you came into the world.
By the end of the day I am very tired often spend the last hour alone watching TV or surfing the web while you and daddy sleep. I need that time to decompress and just be alone with my thoughts. When I do crawl into bed I find that I've really missed you, and I just stare at your face in the dimmed room and thank the universe for the wonderful life I have.
River, you are the best thing I have ever done. Thank you for choosing me as your mommy and letting me share your world as you grow.
I love you,
21 hours ago